Today, my fiancé decided he wants a baby only because our dog is good, quiet, and falls asleep as soon as he starts to cradle her. He thinks a baby will be just like that. FML
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Today, my husband and I found out that our dog was pregnant. He now refuses to have kids with me for at least two years, because he wants to raise the puppies without any "distractions". FML
Today, I was talking with my wife of five years, and I gave her a few hints about wanting kids. After our talk, she looked at me completely serious and said, "Yeah yeah, kids are great and all, but can't we just get you a dog?" FML
Today, my fiancé, my two-year-old, and my dog are all sleeping peacefully next to me in our new king-sized memory foam bed. It's 2:15 in the morning. Why am I not sleeping? Because they all snore, one right after the other. It's like an endless song of snoring. FML
Today, I realized my boyfriend rather qualifies as a pet: He loves eating, he hardly ever talks or listens, but he is cuddly, always enjoys having me around and can – within limits - be trained to do useful things. FML
Today, my husband compared me to his parents' dog. Why? Because when I sleep, I fart and scare myself awake. Just like his parents' dog. FML
Today, I woke up, rolled over, and kissed the boy who was peacefully sleeping next to me, cheerfully saying, "Good morning, baby!" That boy is my dog. FML
Today, after months of my fiancé begging me to have a baby with him, I found out I’m pregnant. He doesn’t want a baby anymore. FML
Today, like every other day my boyfriend and I try and have sex, his dog cried and whined outside of his room until we stopped. She does this all the time and it kills the mood instantly. I can't have sex because of a toy poodle. FML
Today, I bought my dog a fancy bed shaped like a giant donut. He sniffed it, then crawled into the box it came in and fell asleep. He’s been snoring there for four hours now. FML
Today, I realized my boyfriend's dog is more excited to see me than he is. FML
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Top comments
zingline89 18
Speaking from experience, he'll be sorry for assuming a baby will be like a pet. I was very disappointed when my baby daughter was unwilling to use a litter box.
misspulkadot24 17
Give him one of those realistic dolls that shit, cry, scream, and pee. He'll change his mind.
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Comments (90)
luffy2012_fml 10
prove him wrong XD
HKCgrimmjow 15
Oh man what's worse, picking up poo from your dog or changing diapers frequently... Tough one
cmac86 23
changing diapers. they have tools to pick up dog waste.
Steel_BZ 8
Diapers. You don't have to change a dog & then cradle it when you're done. It goes, you pick up & both are happy.
wholikesbacon 9
If I try to cradle my dig she just bites me.
Roguedork19 8
Man, my dig Doug does that too.
sens3sfailing 24
My older brother does that as well.
wholikesbacon 9
Oops ._.
pinkpixie06 11
While a baby may not be just like his dog, they do add much joy to one's life....if you're ready for it. :)
iOceanus 18
I don't think OP's fiancé is quite ready for a baby if he think's it will be as easy as taking care of their dog. :P
billyz77 24
Our baby was that easy, maybe OP will be just as lucky. Our daughter was sweet, kind and gentle and was my best friend - until she turned 11. From the time she had her first period up to the present day and the age of 24, I can do nothing right in her eyes. She even unfriended me on Facebook. But as a baby, OP would be very fortunate to have a child as gentle and loving as our Little One.
charvisioku 22
She un-friended you on Facebook!? Oh noes!
billyz77 24
I'm not sure if I should be offended. What does 'noes' mean? Should I be angry because #47 is mocking my previous comment or should I feel pity because #47 can't spell? Or, should I mark it down as immaturity on #47's part and just ignore it?
southernbelle_rn 16
#37: My 3 month old daughter is the same way. Keep her dry and comfy and she's content but loves to babble! Now I fear the future lol. Hopefully it won't be so bad!
Pyapi 20
My parents said I was also a breeze to handle as a baby. I would sleep the whole night without any problems. My brother was hell for them, though! It's just a matter of luck.
BurningGrannies 16
Isn't a baby just a dog that slowly learns how to talk?
iOceanus 18
No.
insaneDONUTZ 15
no it's actually a human
sens3sfailing 24
Babies are more like drunk friends. Tiny drunk friends who are drunk all the time. Except you love them a different way and everything, but that's not the point.
klutz44 28
That's how I convinced my husband that we were ready for a baby. I got your reference :)
Steel_BZ 8
No. Dogs are cool.
gribbles 12
29 - convinced? Ahhh. Sounds horrible. I don't think a baby is something you should convince someone into having. A new tv, yes. A new baby, not so much.
klutz44 28
46 - it's a line from Scrubs :)
gmian 34
My parents raised a dog before they had me just so they could make sure that they know how to work well together...
Harpy20 24
Take him to the local daycare.
Apruhl33 4
I don't think daycares are like petshops, you can't just go in and play with children...
Harpy20 24
Obviously to look at the disarray and bask in the reality that is children. Not to play, derp. He clearly needs the wake-up call if he thinks a child will be like a dog in any way.
iOceanus 18
Edit: I totally forgot what I was going to say. *wasted comment*
kwyk 23
#8, Pity you didn't tell me that earlier. The police didn't believe I was just training for my future children either, but maybe that's cause I'm 65 with a beard down to my nipples.
Iknoweverything 29
No need to go to the local daycare, just go to any store with toys, and watch. There's a reason I want a baby, but do not want actual kids. Good birth control.
Harpy20 24
Trying to figure out how wanting a baby is different from wanting kids. How do you want a baby yet not want kids?
chosha_fml 26
Meaning they like the idea of a baby, but resist having one because they know they grow up and become kids.
misspulkadot24 17
Give him one of those realistic dolls that shit, cry, scream, and pee. He'll change his mind.
Roguedork19 8
Let him babysit for a day and that'll set him straight.
GuinnessGirrrl 8
Sounds like you have a very loving & nurturing fiancé... count your blessings
btstig 11
In my Red Forman voice "Dumbass".
miniluda12 12
Your picture perfectly relates to this FML.
sugarshane007 20
Clearly he has not tried to breast feed the pup. That'll change his tune!!!
hockeychicl003 6
If OP does have a baby hopefully he won't try to breastfeed it...