Animals

Hey guys, just a lil bit of clarification. I was holding onto the tree to get a good look at the blue tongue (which was over half a metre long). We're not normally afraid of her, she's come into our house (which I'll put a picture of in my profile). It's just that that day I was too near her hidey hole so she chased me. I was in the tree havin a little stare-down with her when I must have moved a little too high up because this possum comes out of no where right up into my face. Scared the shit out of me so I ****** legged it inside. I'm also 16 so I don't have a heap of options about where I live lol

Hobbies and Interests

By Hireme - 08/07/2018 01:30

Today, after being unemployed for the last year, I finally got an interview. When they asked me my favorite pastime, I panicked and said, "Dancing with my cat." I guess I won’t be hearing from them anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 595

You deserved it 1 131

Nature ain't all that great

By Beaten by deer - 18/04/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, an adorable deer got into the yard, so I went to pet it. It jumped on its back legs and started flailing its front legs around, kicking the crap out of me until I curled into a ball crying. I'm so bruised, I can barely sit down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 1 094

By bill - 28/11/2009 01:48 - United States

Today, I received a $500 fine for an "unruly" dog. I don't have a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 863

You deserved it 2 363

By dukebluedevils13 - 05/08/2011 01:47 - United States

Today, my 5 year old fish died. As I was flushing him, he started swimming again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 283

You deserved it 8 155

By Anonymous - 11/12/2011 06:57 - United States

Today, my roomate's cats pooped on the floor again. He refuses to clean it up saying it will be easier to clean in 48 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 941

You deserved it 2 698

Good girl

By Anonymous - 21/04/2025 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my dog is terrified of her own puppies. I don’t know what happened, but when she’s near them, she shows a fear response pretty much constantly. For her to feed them, I need to be by her face distracting her while the puppies feed from her hidden under a towel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 487

You deserved it 80

Dogs rule

By Anonymous - 10/05/2019 04:00

Today, my wife kicked me out of my own bed to go and sleep on the sofa because the dog was whining, and would only stop if she was allowed to sleep on my side of the bed. My wife would rather sleep with the dog than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 920

You deserved it 346

By Michelle - 20/02/2011 17:45 - United States

Today, my cat tried to kill me. While I was sleeping, he put his paws on either side of my face and laid down, covering my nose and mouth. While I was struggling to free myself, I could hear my sister laughing next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 125

You deserved it 4 980

By alix - 24/08/2012 15:45 - United Kingdom - High Wycombe

Today, my dog was diagnosed with depression. I got him to help with my depression. I guess we can just be miserable together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 343

You deserved it 3 111

Moo

By Moo - 27/08/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I had to sleep in a room with my son, since we are visiting relatives at a farm. Every time a cow moos, he says "Cow". I can't sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 99

By Bird - 21/11/2017 21:54

Today, I woke up, walked outside, and tripped over my dead cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 507

You deserved it 386

Achicken123 tells us more.

Achicken123 22

Tuesday 21 November 2017 1:33

I have no clue what happened, she was so young and one day she just stopped doing cat things. None of the vets we went to could find anything. At least she passed in her sleep while somewhere she loved.

By Anonymous - 11/05/2011 17:34 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked through a spider's web with hundreds of baby spiders on it. My afro is now infested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 598

You deserved it 17 243

By DuhSteven - 06/06/2012 17:04 - Canada - Surrey

Today, I had my first ever shift at the zoo. My job is to explain the characteristics and habits of various animals to the visitors. A five-year-old outsmarted me while I was talking about lions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 502

You deserved it 26 602

By BasketGhost - 02/10/2013 06:36 - United States - Bronx

Today, my mom and I got the answer to the question, "Is our dog really dumb enough to jump out of the window of a moving vehicle?" The answer: Yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 057

You deserved it 6 477

BasketGhost tells us more.

BasketGhost 17

Wednesday 2 October 2013 21:20

Hey! Just to start, my dog is absolutely fine. So, we think she may have stepped on the button to lower the window without us realizing before it was too late. No worries, though we were driving fairly slowly after just pulling out of the school parking lot. For anyone wondering the breed, she is a beagle!