By Anonymous - 09/09/2010 01:33 - United States
By thiswouldonlyhappentome - 31/05/2011 00:33 - Aruba
By Kaite - 03/05/2018 01:30
By orangethonglover - 17/07/2009 04:02 - United States
By Poorfish - 17/03/2009 04:34 - United States
RIP Robbie Coltrane
By Anonymous - 26/10/2022 05:00 - United States - Dallas
By Anonymous - 19/12/2010 20:51 - United States
By Justified12 - 13/10/2014 14:15 - United States - North Reading
Justified12 tells us more.
Definitely didn't miss that one
By BirdWatching - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - London
By EpicUsername - 11/03/2010 01:14 - United States
EpicUsername tells us more.
I probably should have stated in the OP that I've only had my dog for 2 months, and upon receiving him, he was immediately signed up for obedience training. In fact, he graduated last Monday.
Alexa, play "Ghosts" by Japan
By stuckathome - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States
By catlady - 01/03/2009 20:36 - United States
Oddly specific cold open
By lalalalala - 23/09/2024 22:00 - United States
Mom hobbies
By Anonymous - 30/12/2019 14:00 - United States
By MBean - 24/10/2013 18:04 - Anguilla - The Valley
By Florida - 27/10/2010 18:46 - United States
Magic morning treat fairy
By PuppiesKisses - 14/07/2025 05:00 - United States
By catfriend - 06/05/2014 05:42 - United States - Salida
By Lucy - 06/03/2010 22:44 - United States
Lazy day
By Fail - 17/03/2023 16:00 - United States
Bad doggies
By Fuck dogs, I need a treadmill - 23/02/2024 13:00 - United States
By Lepisma - 26/06/2013 07:19 - United States - College Station
Lepisma tells us more.
I usually handle smaller spiders okay unless they surprise me, but these guys were big. This happened at about 1 am last night and my housemate was asleep, so a vacuum was not an option. I did use big spray. In fact, I nailed the first one three times and it shrugged it off like a BAMF (it was a Texan spider, after all). I actually already have a cat - two, in fact. They were very interested in the spiders, but I didn't want them to get bitten, so I didn't let them get close enough to attack. I finally got the first one in a cup with a lid and filled that sucker up with the bug spray. That worked! Then I saw the second one and about died, myself. It ended up under a cup eventually, too, and met Mr. Shoe. Thanks for the suggestions, though - they made me laugh!
It's a doggy dog world
By Tom - 02/10/2024 09:00 - Netherlands - Zoetermeer
By Anonymous - 27/09/2018 19:37
Debbie Baker Minium tells us more.
OP here. Just to clarify...I have a little 7 lb dog & the groomer was holding her. I reached to take her & the groomer turned sideways which is how my hand brushed her boob. And of course I apologized!!!! I'm a woman by the way so it wasn't a man on woman grope or anything --- still awkward and embarrassing. I love this groomer though so I will probably suck up the awkwardness and be more careful next time!!! :-)
By ZombiexIce - 10/02/2014 03:22 - United States - San Francisco
ZombiexIce tells us more.
Hey, this is the OP. I have owned rats and mice as pets, but with a wild one you really don't want them running loose around a toddler. As for getting a cat, I have been trying to get a kitten for my son, but our landlord wants a huge deposit. We are buying a humane trap and letting him go somewhere far away. We have temporarily plugged the hole he was using to get in until payday. My husband was jokingly threatening. He is just a big softie sometimes. :) We got a good laugh out of this, before I realized it was a mouse I ran screaming out of the bathroom with my pants around my knees. Glad everyone got a laugh out of this, we did!
By Anonymous - 25/03/2012 17:21 - United States - Rocklin
By spideypowers - 05/09/2009 04:06 - United States
Creepy
By scared-straight - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States
How could you?
By Billie - 27/09/2025 22:00
You little devil
By Awakened - 07/01/2025 15:00 - United States
Keywords
Hello OP here, So, basically this is what happened: As my dad is a pastor, we attend church as a family. I special ordered the cake and decided to pick it up, Sunday morning before going to church. The plan was to drop the cake off at my sisters house along with our two german shepherds since dogs aren't allowed in my church and I didn't want to leave them in my truck for health and safety reasons. So I picked up the cake, put both of the dogs in the back and placed the cake on the passenger seat. Halfway to my sister's house, it starts to get hot in the truck, so I rolled down the passenger window and of course what does every dog in the planet want to do if there's an open window? Stick his head out of the window. Afraid that he would jump out, I commanded him to "stop and sit and needless to say, as thankful I am that the cake was in a box, there was an obvious inevitable depression in it. Mom was too busy to notice since I bought her a kayak and a beautiful card. But lesson well learned. Thank you for the birthday wishes, and take care!