By XxEmoWolfiexX - 24/05/2012 21:18 - United States - Indianapolis
Pet lover
By Anonymous - 01/07/2021 13:39
By Man vs. Spider - 28/02/2010 17:05 - United States
Psssssych!
By Welcome to Florida - 20/07/2017 13:01
By blacktyaffair - 09/11/2011 14:48 - United States
By Dirtbikesnowboard - 09/11/2016 19:00 - United States - Cedar City
Trashy
By Anonymous - 07/03/2024 07:00 - United States
By bird - 08/01/2014 20:27 - United States - Fort Gratiot
NEVER JOKE ABOUT FLUFFY
By Sheepiebeepie - 11/08/2017 04:30
By Sheh - 16/07/2014 15:02 - Sweden
Sheh_fml tells us more.
By My rapey cat (doesn't even have balls) - 21/04/2018 01:30
By Anonyme - 10/06/2011 23:07 - France
Priorities
By unwanted - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia
Brave
By screw the cat - 24/07/2012 05:10 - United States - South Jordan
By Anonymous - 14/01/2015 01:50 - United States - Wilmington
By nomorepups - 31/10/2016 14:54
By SMCHR - 09/05/2011 03:22 - Ireland
Disproportionate response
By pick up after your dog you lazy piece of shit! - 09/06/2023 00:00
By Rapunzel1974 - 01/09/2013 04:29 - United States - Gulfport
Rapunzel1974 tells us more.
I'm the OP. I'm the one with the Fabulous Fingerbiters. These chickens aren't food: they're overindulged pets. Each one has a name, so chicken stew isn't an option. I've named them after various vaudeville stars or actresses because they're a lot of feathery drama queens. Actually, biting the hand that feeds them is right in line with the entertainment-industry theme I chose when naming them. A chicken bite from a baby bird isn't really painful at all because their little beaks are so soft. Even an adult bird's peck isn't painful in the same way a dog or cat bite is painful. They can't break the skin, although if they get you in the face it can leave a scratch or welt. A parrot, by contrast, can take your finger off. Chickens just aren't strong enough. These are going to be lovely laying hens. They're just a bit cheeky. I think I can break them of the habit by switching for a while to grass instead of mealworms, by *not* dropping the goodies no matter what, and moving on to the second phase of training, where I train them to hop onto my lap and sit there to be fed and petted. When training a chicken, it's important to use food as a reward. They're not like dogs and they don't consider attention a reward. They don't even consider petting a reward until they're conditioned to do so, because it's not a normal behavior or sensation for them. But it's straight-up operant conditioning, right out of B.F. Skinner
I'm fine, this is fine
By btg - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States
The creepy guy next door
By Anonymous - 05/06/2013 22:09 - United Kingdom - Worcester Park
By EpicJman2828 - 27/06/2013 04:27 - United States
EpicJman2828 tells us more.
OP here. Im so shocked I got posted. Just like to say my cousin was gone when it exploded and I was stung about 9 times. Overall it was very exciting being able to go outside and know something wanted your freaking soul. Those suckers will Hunt you down and rape your body with their asses
Sneaky
By Wow - 15/01/2023 05:00 - United States
Freedom!
By Anonymous - 27/08/2024 20:00 - United States
By Crystal_Nicole - 14/12/2013 05:05 - United States - Wichita
By TehUglyLife - 29/07/2013 19:11 - United States - Jacksonville Beach
He's still a very good boy
By PaulineIsHere - 04/08/2025 22:00 - United States
By anyonmus - 12/04/2013 00:59 - United States - Westminster
Wankers
By trainE - 30/03/2009 02:08 - United States
Impressive
By Anonymous - 18/01/2021 04:58
Keywords
The bag of rice didn't have any handle, so I held it kinda resting against my torso, just like when holding my cat. I guess it has just become a habit. Loving all the puns :)