Goodbye horses
By Anonymous - 23/10/2017 16:19
By Anonymous - 23/10/2017 16:19
By Anonymous - 30/12/2019 14:00 - United States
By Anonymous - 04/10/2015 23:34 - United States - San Francisco
By Anonymous - 22/06/2024 22:00 - United States - Boise
By Just Set Me On Fire - 13/09/2017 23:15
By lukey101 - 07/09/2023 22:00
By yesikilledit - 20/11/2018 13:30
By Razi_tail - 25/06/2014 04:13 - United States - Nixa
By conbon123 - 29/04/2013 07:20 - United States - Beaverton
By calivianya - 28/08/2012 04:49 - United States - Greensboro
Just so you guys know, I have a whole lot of furniture. I'm pretty sure the cricket was hiding under one of the pieces of furniture, but every time I got near my couch, ottoman, armchair, side table, or bookcase, it stopped chirping. It was pretty hard to tell where it was coming from!
By Wet Britches - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Portland
By Florida - 27/10/2010 18:46 - United States
By assholecat - 10/10/2012 08:43 - Australia - Brisbane
Hey y'all, this is OP. In regards to my post: The elderly lady is a very close family friend of my family who still lives by herself but is being taken care of by her family. She's a lovely lady, really. I'm not worried about her stealing my cat - her dead cat and my cat look very similar. If he's bringing her joy - great! She and kitty can hang as much as they want! To the people who seemed to hint at me not feeding my cat... if you ever saw him, you would know that he is probably the best fed cat in the whole world. He is enormous. I have perfectly good food for him to eat - which I would feed him if he turned up for meal times. I don't feed him whenever he's hungry because he's a big ol' fat cat and I don't want him getting any fatter. (He won't be getting breakfast from me anymore - when I found out that my neighbour was lovingly feeding my kitty for me in place of her own, I went and brought her some cat food.) In regards to the "your cat is an opportunist! That's what cats are!" comments - no argument from me. As far as "don't call your cat an asshole!" comments go... my cat is an asshole: he methodically waits by her door every single morning at the same time that she routinely feeds her own cat, even though he knows (I'm sure he does, simply because the other cat isn't there) that her cat is no longer with us. My cat is both an opportunist and an asshole. And no, I don't believe that my cat can understand me when I call him an asshole. Anywho, that's it. I'm out. Peace!
By peta eata - 02/08/2021 22:01 - United States
By shando - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States
By RENThead - 13/09/2015 19:02 - United States - San Francisco
By Pups4Cups - 26/10/2016 12:43
By NotEnoughCleaner - 12/11/2009 17:30 - United Kingdom
Oh, she's been to the vet. Lots. And apparently, unlike in humans, cat 'stress incontinence' isn't the kind where you pee when you sneeze, but the kind where you pee everywhere when you're stressed. Why is she stressed? We think she freaked out when my husband worked away from home for a few weeks. Why isn't she better - dunno! She has meds. from the vet to help her. I can't keep her out of the kitchen, due to the design of my funny, v. old, house the kitchen doesn't have a door to close it off from the rest of the house. Also her cat-flap (kitty door) is in the front door, which opens onto ...the kitchen. And she's been peeing under my bed... I've now thoroughly run out of tolerance for cat pee, hence the hatred...
By kdriver - 12/09/2016 14:44 - Canada - Oakville
By MaybeYOULLFindThisFunny - 15/07/2024 22:00 - United States - Seminole
By jnr1234 - 20/06/2012 02:15 - United States - Princeton
By scars - 16/12/2014 15:01 - United States - Edwardsville
By Anonymous - 30/05/2012 05:46 - United States - San Diego
By pocahauntas91 - 21/10/2017 22:00 - United States - Redondo
Hi, OP here. Morning sickness can be all the way up through the end of pregnancy. In my case, my husband is a very sound sleeper and hates puke more than I do, and he works nights so I didn't want to wake him up. Luckily this isn't an every day issue but it's been enough that I can't wait for this tapeworm to come out so the sick feeling stops lol
By darlingditz - 02/04/2009 23:05 - United States
By kitty - 11/11/2012 10:10 - Australia
By aqua88 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Malaysia
By Brokedogowner - 17/03/2017 16:46
This one's mine! Kind of weird to see it here. Anyway, the vet did several (pricey) tests to find out why my dog drinks so much and pees everywhere. The title pretty much nailed it, he's an asshole.
By PackardBell - 28/03/2016 03:09 - United States - Vernon Hills
Hi, op here. Just want to clarify: The toothbrush is one of those circular, rotating tips. The "spinbrush," I believe. Second, I eventually cleaned out the bristles and got rid of the taste... in the morning. I slept with that taste lingering and it was horrible. This is just meant to clarify some things due to the lack of character space to type.
Keywords
I figured one of two things would happen: 1. He was in the same area we got separated or 2. He went back to the car. I chose to search the first option before getting a phone call that somebody found my dog. He has 3 ways to id him: dog park tag, name tag, and microchipped. It was the park tag that somebody had called on.