Animals

Caturday surprise

By Help - 01/04/2023 10:00 - United States

Today, there are two cats in my basement that won't stop fighting. Loudly. I'm trying to sleep, if you don't mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 191

By idrow - 25/10/2018 22:08

Today, a bear dragged my neighbor's garbage across the street and stopped right in the middle of my front yard, where it proceeded to scatter the contents and have a feast. When it was finished, it took a massive dump on my lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 057

You deserved it 212

By madisonbubch - 23/09/2014 01:04 - United States - Vine Grove

Today, I got home from a long day at work, hoping to just fix dinner and relax, only to find that my cat had come into the house with a rabbit, and is now stuck underneath the cabinet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 933

You deserved it 3 079

Uh oh

By uh-oh - 25/03/2012 05:49 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I kicked my dog's toy snake out of my way. Then I realised my dog doesn't have a toy snake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 633

You deserved it 3 738

By electricpuddle - 25/04/2011 01:11

Today, while letting horses out to switch pasture, one ran at me, sending me through the electric fence and into a mud puddle. Wrapped in electric fence, I sat in that electric mud puddle, screaming every time it shocked me. Help arrived, once they'd had a good long laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 849

You deserved it 4 039

Modern art?

By Meow - 15/09/2009 13:21 - Singapore

Today, I was finishing up my art project that was due the next day. I was really tired and fell asleep on my table. Three hours later, I woke up to find my project torn to bits. I went out and saw my cat vomiting out feathers and other materials I used for my project. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 745

You deserved it 8 170

By anonymous - 20/02/2015 23:49 - United States - Paragould

Today, it was snowing but I had to let my dog out, so I picked him up and carried him outside. I slipped, landed on him and ended up breaking his leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 507

You deserved it 7 122

By pinkjade - 25/10/2011 07:17 - Canada

Today, I was napping. I woke up to my pillow making some sounds. Thinking it was my head shifting my pillow, I went back to sleep. Later on I woke up to the sounds again, and a mouse staring at my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 946

You deserved it 3 550

Pure evil

By Anonymous - 29/04/2015 16:06 - South Africa - Pinetown

Today, my sister's kitten walked away from his litter box, jumped onto the table, looked me dead in the eyes, then peed directly onto my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 115

You deserved it 3 343

Get off my lawn!

By control your mutt! - 23/02/2022 22:00

Today, tired of people letting their dogs crap in my yard, I sprinkled an assortment of crushed peppers around my lawn as a deterrent. One dog went to do its business and had some sort of allergic reaction. Now its bitchy owner is threatening to sue me, and tried to have her daughter kick my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 047

You deserved it 425

Waterworks

By Anonymous - 18/01/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I took an allergy skin test and turns out I’m allergic to dogs. Three weeks ago, I adopted a new puppy to help with my depression, but within a few days I was coughing, sneezing, and having watery eyes. I’ve previously had a dog for 10 years and I was never allergic to it. I don’t wanna give the new one up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 97

By gera3gera - 07/10/2009 02:07 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 838

You deserved it 4 135

Run for your life!

By Anonymous - 19/08/2023 22:00 - Germany

Today, I was in a hurry to pull out all the fence posts around our horse meadow, because the new owner is suddenly kicking us out. As if that wasn’t bad enough, some ground wasps were living at the base of one of those fence posts. No, they were not amused when I started wiggling it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 634

You deserved it 130

By Anonymous - 31/12/2009 11:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I got out of bed and immediately went to the window as it was supposed to snow today. I saw a man walking his dog and he waved at me. I waved back enthusiastically and realised I was naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 134

You deserved it 31 854

Manchild

By beeee - 26/07/2010 04:03 - Australia

Today, I moved in with my boyfriend. Up until now, I thought my cat was the only four year-old I had to deal with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 357

You deserved it 12 581

By hoo flung pu - 03/10/2013 08:26 - United States

Today, my dog figured out she can wipe her butthole on my walls after having squeezed out a turd or two. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 278

You deserved it 3 725

By Allie cat - 02/12/2016 13:43

Today, while in deep sleep, I was suddenly awoken by a tickle on my face and nearly threw my cat off the bed. Apparently, 4 a.m. Is the perfect time to touch noses with your human. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 499

You deserved it 1 585

Oh no…

By OhWait - 23/10/2015 00:18 - United States - Schenectady

Today, after six weeks of dealing with various exterminators, my roommate and I were about to toast to what we were told was a wasp-free room. That's when we noticed several much smaller wasps flying around. Not only is our wasp problem not solved, but our room is a wasp breeding ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 122

You deserved it 1 466

Yucky!

By theapplesleader - 23/12/2019 03:00 - United States - Washington

Today, I picked my dog up and nibbled her ear. On the tip of her ear was a large tick, which burst, sending blood into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 577

You deserved it 3 868

Who run the world? Cats!

By tease_ftx - 31/08/2017 13:00

Today, as I was laying down to sleep, I grabbed my covers and realized the cat pissed on them and on my body pillow. Now I'm up at 1 a.m. doing laundry so I can have clean bedding and my kids are awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 219

You deserved it 447

By Oops - 07/01/2017 20:48 - United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne

Today, I accidentally spilled red wine on my cat. She ran away and licked the wine off before I had a chance to clean her. My mother is deeply concerned our cat is dying. I'm trying to tell her to wait 24 hours before taking her to the vet's, simply because I think my cat is hung over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 870

You deserved it 1 291

Better out than in

By My cat is a klutz - 08/05/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, my cat tried to look outside the window in my room by climbing on top of the air conditioner. It's already rather flimsy, as she had broken the accordions with her clumsiness last year. But this time, she somehow managed to make the AC fall out of the window, and she followed along with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 156

The cliché

By Anonymous - 26/07/2013 00:13 - South Africa

Today, I realised that I can tell my 6 cats apart by the sound of their paws on the carpet. I think I need friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 525

You deserved it 9 683

Long day

By Anonymous - 09/09/2024 16:00 - Australia

Today, I got home after a rough day and was really looking forward to some cuddles from my cat. I opened the door and she came running toward me, which was unusual, so I knelt down to embrace her. She ran right past me to get to the tuna sandwich I'd unwittingly dropped on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 188

You deserved it 342

By Stalkerella - 08/05/2018 05:51

Today, I asked my neighbor to kindly move his truck because it blocks my driveway and the side entrance to my yard. He responded by throwing a decapitated bird onto my front lawn and filing an injunction against me for stalking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 698

You deserved it 274

Get it out!

By TLM9312 - 07/06/2023 18:00 - Canada - Madoc

Today, I've been awake since 3 a.m. Why? A bat flew into the house and made its way to my bedroom. We haven't been able to find it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 743

You deserved it 98

By seriously - 24/05/2013 07:04 - United States

Today, my mom accused my cat of being a "manipulator", and said that we should get rid of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 767

You deserved it 4 579

Stop moving!

By Anonymous - 29/05/2025 12:00 - Australia

Today, I had to try and capture some of my dog’s pee to get tests done. During the attempt, he pissed all up my arm, the ordeal drawing a crowd of spectators who no doubt think I’ve gone mad. After all that, the sample captured wasn’t enough to be tested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 106

No place like home

By MrMagicMan000 - 25/08/2009 06:47 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sounds of birds singing, the smell of butter pancakes in the air, and thought to myself, "Wow, today is going to be great day. I can feel it!" Excited, I jumped out of bed and threw open the door to see my 58 year-old mother doing her morning stretches in the nude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 319

You deserved it 4 424

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Annoying Work Miscellaneous Money Health Mysterious Gross Relatable Delivery Facebook My ex Love Instagram Social Media TikTok Jewelry Snapchat Parents Weird Parenting Kids Accident Roommate NSFW Sex Intimacy Phobias Cats Animals Embarrassing

The Top

Today, after being unemployed for almost two years, I was turned down for yet another job. The reason this time? I live too far from the job. I can see the building from my bedroom window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 535

You deserved it 4 612

Today, I was woken by my alarm. I got really tangled up in my blankets, and struggled frantically to untangle myself so I could turn off the alarm. I not only kneed myself in the face, but I accidentally punched myself in the nuts too. Hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 380

You deserved it 24 039

Today, my husband, during casual family chat, told my CHILDREN all about my childhood sexual abuse as I stared at him in disbelief. He doesn't think he did anything wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 675

You deserved it 141

Today, I was at work and commented on someone’s YouTube video that they sounded “so white” when pronouncing “Tacos Al Pastor.” I didn’t realize I'd used my job’s Google account to post the comment. Someone flagged my comment, and our IT department told my boss, who then fired me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 180

You deserved it 2 147

Today, my “best friend” threw me under the bus and got me fired from my job, possibly getting charges pressed against me. She told on me for sweethearting (ringing up one item when she'd bought multiple items) her, all because I’m dating a guy she likes. She didn’t even tell me she liked him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 1 137

Today, after I started dating a guy and a girl simultaneously to keep my options open, they turned out to be siblings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 175

You deserved it 1 051