Animals

I did run, but I stopped when I saw another squirrel looking at me and that's when the first one caught up. Greedy and determined little bastards I tell ya! (I'm OP, by the way... And a girl.)

By Anonymous - 02/06/2015 15:23 - United States - Austin

Today, I was riding my newly trained horse. I've recently been suffering from bad gas, and ended up farting so violently, it spooked my horse into bucking me off and running away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 264

You deserved it 5 538

Fundies

By CatOwner - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my father spent half an hour trying to convert my cat to Christianity. He has already done this with my other two cats. He's completely serious and thinks they are born-again Christians. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 289

You deserved it 3 388

By cutup - 11/07/2012 17:54 - United States - Gainesville

Today, I tried to trim my dog's nails. After about a half hour of barking, biting, and general freaking out, I gave up and decided to pay someone else to do it. I'm a vet, and do this for a living. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 538

You deserved it 6 438

Better safe than doggy

By poongoon - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, while at the supermarket, I came back to one of my car windows smashed in. Apparently, the stuffed animal my son left in the back seat looks like a dehydrated dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 801

You deserved it 927

By catbum - 10/11/2016 03:54 - Canada - Regina

Today, I accidentally shoved my finger up my cat's butt while trying to push him off my nightstand in the dark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 624

You deserved it 1 505

Scooby snacks?

By DogStew - 12/09/2019 18:00

Today, I had to watch my niece’s puppy. The darn dog kept finding turds in the yard and eating them. One turd had worms in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 405

You deserved it 259

Vicious bastards

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2020 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Runcorn

Today, I decided to go for a jog to try and get fit. I definitely got my exercise in, because I was mercilessly chased by a goose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 213

You deserved it 253

Pink tax

By banj0 - 06/10/2012 22:58 - United States - Madison

Today, I had to pry my sister's used tampon out from between my dog's jaws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 809

You deserved it 2 222

By Anonymous - 09/08/2009 04:22 - United States

Today, I found out that when you chase a couple of squirrels off your porch for irritating your dogs, sometimes they chase you back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 476

You deserved it 15 031

New friend

By Anonymous - 13/12/2023 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my kids got me a dog to replace the dog who died last year. I don’t like dogs, our old dog was my deceased wife’s dog, and I never liked it. I cared for the dog until it died of old age and fully intended to never get another one. Now I have a hyperactive puppy destroying my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 796

You deserved it 210

By Anonymous - 03/03/2010 05:08 - United States

Today, I was perusing my mom's Facebook when I noticed that she has an album of pictures for each member of the family. All except me. Even the dog has his own album. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 613

You deserved it 2 754

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Drunk Party Health Cats Animals Wake up Gross Public freakouts LGBTQIA+ Coworkers Awkward Work Birds Cute Money Ironic Scams Shopping Love Parents Argument Social Media Kids Relatable Miscellaneous Sports Annoying Cheating Weird YouTube

The Top

Today, I woke up at 6:30 this morning, but I didn't have to be at work till 11. I walked the dog, made breakfast and read for a little bit. I then woke up again at 11:30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 953

You deserved it 3 048

Today, multiple people pushed me out of the way to get a seat on the metro. I'm five months pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 585

You deserved it 442

Today, where I work at a pharmacy, we were short staffed and running 4 hours behind. A lady came to drop off a new prescription. When I explained to her the wait time, she called the patient. I heard, "No, they don't look busy." Like, really? FML

I agree, your life sucks 925

You deserved it 121

Today, I finally beat depression by going for a walk on the beach. I couldn't contain myself and happily played in waist-deep water as I walked. I realized my keys for my car, mail, house, and work had fallen out of my pockets and into the ocean, never to be seen again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 523

Today, I got screwed over by the justice system. I make just over £20,000 a year, my ex makes over £250,000. We share custody of our kids 50/50 and yet I’m the one paying her child support. Our kids are very well cared for; she doesn’t need that money. I survive on instant noodles and tap water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 661

You deserved it 162

Today, I was sitting on the bus and the guy in front of me turned around and asked for a dollar. I politely said no. Now he won’t stop farting. I literally hate leaving my house anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 78