About Tomhofer
Moo moo moo moo. I am a cow.
Tomhofer - Followers
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Tomhofer's FML badges
  • Beginner

    You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
  • I moderated this!

    In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • Perfectionist

    Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • Profile completed

    You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • I'm an early bird, but no worm yet

    You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 a.m.
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
  • Checking you out

    You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    2%
  • 42

    See, son, moderating FMLs is like a marathon.
    0%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    1%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    4%
  • My diary is a collector's item

    There were only 100 numbered VDM diaries for 2011/2012. I've got one.
    0%
  • Tell us what happened next

    You've commented on an FML that you sent in
    0%
  • Work is a 4-letter word

    Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.
    0%
  • 100 kick-ass comments

    100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
    88%
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
    19%
  • 50 quality comments

    Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
    82%
  • Tweet, tweet

    You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we understand why.
    0%
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
    26%
  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

    This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
    67%
  • Socialite

    You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
    0%
  • The rules are the rules

    Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by Alan, our moderator.
    0%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    0%
The list of badges to find
Tomhofer's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the park playing Frisbee with my friends, when I saw a boy sitting on a bench looking rather sad. "Hey!" I yelled, and he looked up at me. I lightly threw the Frisbee in his direction, and it hit him in the face. He was blind. FML

By WasntMe / Wednesday 17 July 2013 23:15 / United States

Today, I was teaching my daughter how to drive. We were passing by a merge lane; I told her to slow down and let a green car merge in front of us. She said, "Fuck the green car" and sped up, colliding with it. Apparently she didn't know that would happen. FML

By Anonymous - / Monday 15 July 2013 03:40 / United States - Odenton

Today, my daughter and I were driving home when our truck broke down. A police officer stopped and offered to let me and my two year old sit in his car for the A/C. When we got in, I sat her on my lap, and she pulled down my tank top and screamed "Boobies!" right in front of the officer. FML

By embarrassedmom / Saturday 31 August 2013 23:48 / United States

Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend's family, and he was saying how well his driving lessons are going. During this conversation his mum told him to "stop blowing your own trumpet." He replied, "If I could do that, I wouldn't need Anna." His dad gave him a high-five. FML

By NoMoreTrumpetBlowing - / Wednesday 14 August 2013 16:22 / United Kingdom

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML

By um... what the fuck, miss? - / Friday 2 August 2013 20:23 / United Kingdom