About Napalm_uniqorn
I'm addicted to fml as it makes a great read. I'm jealous of white Christmases, and snow. I have kangaroos living in my backyard and wombats in my driveway. My girlfriend is the best.
Napalm_uniqorn - Followers
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Napalm_uniqorn's FML badges
  • I like your style

    You gave a Hug to someone. How cute!
  • Back from the party

    An FML submitted between 5 and 6 a.m. can't be very good.
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
  • The rules are the rules

    Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by Alan, our moderator.
  • Work is a 4-letter word

    Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.
  • Checking you out

    You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
  • My diary is a collector's item

    There were only 100 numbered VDM diaries for 2011/2012. I've got one.
  • Happy ending

    Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • Night owl

    You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 a.m.
  • This isn't what should be happening

    You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done, wrong turn. Go back.
  • The Mixer

    You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
  • Santa Claus

    You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
  • Inception

    You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return, you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
  • Socialite

    You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
  • I moderated this!

    In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
  • Consolation prize

    Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
  • Profile completed

    You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
  • Beginner

    You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
  • Perfectionist

    Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    3%
  • 100 kick-ass comments

    100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
    17%
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
    4%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    65%
  • Tweet, tweet

    You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we understand why.
    0%
  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

    This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
    33%
  • 50 quality comments

    Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
    0%
  • Tell us what happened next

    You've commented on an FML that you sent in
    0%
  • I liked to the power of 20

    You've liked 20 FMLs, and your Facebook friends are going to like the FMLs you liked.
    0%
  • Picture this FML

    You left your mark on an illustrated FML’s presentation blog article.
    0%
  • I’m your new creative director

    You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
    0%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    2%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    1%
  • 42

    See, son, moderating FMLs is like a marathon.
    0%
The list of badges to find
Napalm_uniqorn's favorite FMLs

Today, I got home from a long day at work, hoping to just fix dinner and relax, only to find that my cat had come into the house with a rabbit, and is now stuck underneath the cabinet. FML

By madisonbubch / Tuesday 23 September 2014 01:04 / United States - Vine Grove

Today, I got high for the first time. Apparently I called my vet and told him my goldfish was barking. I found out when he called me back later to make sure we were both okay. FML

By Anonymous / Sunday 14 September 2014 16:38 / Ghana - Accra

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex and in the heat of the moment I cried out for him to go harder. He had an exasperated expression on his face, and in an adamantly offended tone he said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he stopped and left the room. FML

By belljars - / Friday 18 April 2014 02:27 / United States - Riverside

Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML

By traumatized - / Saturday 12 April 2014 18:07 / United States - Brooklyn

Today, I found my little brother breathing heavily and asked him what he was doing. He looked at me intensely and said "Breathing in all the oxygen so you can't have any and die." 5ML

By SirDirtyRedD - / Saturday 25 January 2014 01:03 / Iceland - Reykjav