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    You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

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  • Work is a 4-letter word

    Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.
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  • I agree, my mouse works.

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Mikiangelis's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my mom, braiding my dad's pubic hair. I don't know what scarred me more; my mom braiding his pubic hair or the fact that his pubic hair is long enough to be braided. FML

By Joe - / Sunday 11 December 2011 01:03 / United States

Today, I was rushed to the emergency room in crippling pain, thanks to a very dangerous cluster of cysts on my ovaries that could rupture at any time. My boyfriend took this news as my way of denying him sex and broke up with me for "going to obscene lengths" to emasculate him. FML

By Twysted91 - / Sunday 28 December 2015 03:50 / United States - Milford

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

By Anonymous - / Saturday 20 July 2013 15:45 / United States - Newark

Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML

By nicholascageonyourface - / Sunday 9 June 2013 05:13 / United States - Papillion

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

By Anonymous / Tuesday 28 May 2013 16:37 / Australia - Lane Cove