About Tempest559
FML's cheer me up. I'm a specialized mechanic. My dog is the world to me. I enjoy the mountains more than the beach. I like to cook, camp, shoot, go to concerts and bla bla bla. I'm tired of listing shit on here already. Also I thought the douchy picture was a funny move. And no more douchy photo because of all the hating. And I brought it back again, let's see how many negative comments I'll get this time.
Tempest559 - Followers
Tempest559 - Followed
Tempest559's FML badges
  • Beginner

    You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
  • Socialite

    You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
  • I moderated this!

    In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

    This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
  • Profile completed

    You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
  • Consolation prize

    Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • 100 kick-ass comments

    100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
  • Tweet, tweet

    You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we understand why.
    0%
  • My diary is a collector's item

    There were only 100 numbered VDM diaries for 2011/2012. I've got one.
    0%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    8%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    4%
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    11%
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    3%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    2%
  • Tell us what happened next

    You've commented on an FML that you sent in
    0%
  • Work is a 4-letter word

    Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.
    0%
  • The rules are the rules

    Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by Alan, our moderator.
    0%
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
    69%
  • Perfectionist

    Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
    0%
  • 50 quality comments

    Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
    38%
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
    45%
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
    94%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    9%
The list of badges to find
Tempest559's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids?" I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML

By PicturePerfect - / Monday 2 March 2009 21:33 / Canada

Today, I saw a very attractive young woman struggling with some boxes. The seduction attempt resulted in me carrying 60lbs of items for 30mins. When we got to her apartment, she thanked me and introduced me to her boyfriend. FML

By JacktheRussian - / Monday 8 April 2013 00:33 / United States

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

By Anonymous / Wednesday 12 September 2012 07:00 / United States - Valencia

Today, I checked the app I had used during the night. It's supposed to record you while you sleep if you make any noise, and I had downloaded because my friends say I snore. The only noise it picked up was my parents having sex. FML

By Anonymous / Monday 23 July 2012 08:08 / United States - Rock Springs

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been in love with for the past two years. Five minutes in, he passed out on top of me from a pain pill overdose and had a mini seizure. He finally woke up and groans, "Those bastards! They confiscated my clothes!" FML

By Lucy / Saturday 21 July 2012 07:40 / United States - La Mesa