Jacob19999

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Florida, USA
32 years-old
Sunday 08 August 1993
Not specified

About Jacob19999

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Jacob19999 - Followers

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Jacob19999's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I agree, my mouse works.

200 "I agree" votes is a good start.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Judgmental

You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Profile completed

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Work is a 4-letter word

Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The return of the thumb

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

The thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

YDI Master

You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.

50 favorites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!

A new thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.

The list of badges to find

Jacob19999's favorite FMLs

Oh no oh no

By jealouspussy - 20/02/2013 06:55 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was giving my guy a blowjob. When he blurted out, "Oh Jesus" I assumed I was doing a good job. I looked up to see the expression on his face and noticed a look of terror. He was staring at my growling cat, two seconds away from clawing his face off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 575

You deserved it 6 008

By Nick - 23/02/2009 03:04 - United States

Today, I arrived at my parents house for dinner. When I got there, I noticed that they had gay pride flags hanging from the porch, and gay rights bumper stickers plastered to their cars. There was also a huge "We accept you, Nick" banner hanging from the garage. I'M NOT GAY! FML

I agree, your life sucks 93 298

You deserved it 6 409

By Failed Parent - 11/10/2012 06:59 - United States

Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 960

You deserved it 4 648

By iLynz - 23/04/2013 06:34 - United States

Today, I walked in on my brother giving his best friend a hand-job. I can't unsee this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 587

You deserved it 12 169

iLynz tells us more.

iLynz 12

Saturday 20 July 2013 20:55

Yes, my brother's friend was male. No, I didn't know he wasn't straight. Yes my brother is gay. And it's kinda hard to knock when there isn't a wall separating the kitchen from the living room. We talked about it afterwards AFTER I left the room (:

By anonymous - 27/03/2013 23:55 - United States - Honolulu

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 238

You deserved it 9 267