burristhethird

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Earth, Milky Way Galaxy
27 years-old
Tuesday 24 November 1998
single

A propos de Burristhethird

My life is like a box of chocolates. One that is full of nothing but the shitty flavored ones.

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Burristhethird's favorite FMLs

By LilShawty2000 - 24/02/2009 05:30 - United States

Today, I went to chill with my best guy friend and his girlfriend, whom I recently met after I moved to the area. After a few beers, my buddy leaned over and tried to make out with me. I quickly backed up and shockingly looked over at his girlfriend to expect the same reaction. She winked. FML

agreeclassic 69 856

vote type 1 7 921

By Anonymous - 20/06/2015 01:22 - United States

Today, I was using the toilet. I was still insanely pissed off over an argument with my girlfriend, which kind of explains why I was wiping my ass so furiously that my fingers broke through the tissue and ended up in my ass, causing me to shriek like a little girl. FML

agreeclassic 22 902

vote type 1 14 232

Domestic

By baberuth - 19/06/2015 22:21 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I heard my sister screaming from the basement, "Don't you hit me, you asshole!" Knowing her boyfriend was over, I ran downstairs with my baseball bat, ready to smash the fucker hitting my sister. Turns out they were just playing Mario Kart and he rammed her off the edge of a bridge. FML

agreeclassic 30 881

vote type 1 4 514

Saxophone solo

By fartypants - this FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Winter Park

Today, as I finished my piano recital and took a bow, I farted into the microphone. FML

agreeclassic 33 926

vote type 1 4 581

By fuck right off - 04/04/2015 17:32 - United Kingdom - Coalville

Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML

agreeclassic 35 552

vote type 1 3 033