Andrew
Blackwood, United States
Today, I heard my ten-year-old brother say, "Are hamburgers a reptile?" FML
CadaverousKitten
Miss Harrisburg, PA, USA 33 years-old In a relationship
Marika
San Francisco, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my religious friend and I ended up having wild sex in the back of his mom's minivan. We got interrupted by a priest knocking at our window. Well played God, well played. FML
chapstick
San Dimas, United States
Today, my lips were dry and chapped, so I asked if I could use some of my friend's chapstick. She didn't mind, so I quickly put some on. Only later did I notice that my lips were sparkly. Turns out it was glitter balm. Now everyone calls me "princess." FML
Anonymous
Converse, United States
Today, like every day since my wife was prescribed antibiotics for an infection, I had to hide one of the pills inside her food, because she'd apparently rather fall seriously ill than swallow them like an adult. FML