cearabelle

Today, I bought a dog to make me feel less lonely. He ran away. FML

Today, I shat out a staple. FML

Today, I was at the park with my daughter. She walked up to a boy at the swings, held her hand out, and said, "Hi I'm Vanessa, and someday you'll be working for me." FML

Wise words

Today, my five year-old daughter came up to me and told me she wanted to be a nun. When I asked why, she replied, "So I won't get my heart broken by a boy." FML

Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML