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Today, my friend accidentally left her Facebook logged onto my computer after she left my house. I looked on her Facebook and found a very long message between her and my other friends talking about how much they hate me. FML

Today, it's my two year anniversary with my wife. She's celebrating the day with her new boyfriend. FML

Today, my girlfriend told me on Facebook to stop calling/texting her because she lost her phone. Right under her post was "sent from Facebook for iPhone." FML

Today, I met my husband's other wife. FML

Today, at school I pulled my bicep muscle arm wrestling. I lost. He was 14. I'm the 23 year old security guard. FML