Miss Aberdeen, Scotland 35 years-old In a relationship
Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML
Today, in a desperate bid to avoid going to the doctor, my young son ran into and hid inside a cactus garden. I had to drag him out. FML
Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML
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