xxskatergirl7xx

Today, I punched myself in the face while trying to eat a GoGurt. FML

Today, I saw a group of attractive guys at the mall. One of them looked exactly like a friend, so I decided to take a picture. Trying to be discreet, I put my phone up to my ear as if I was making a phone call, and pressed the capture button. The flash went off. FML

Today, my fiancé and I got married. We both promised to remain abstinent until our wedding day. She's on her period. FML

Valentine's Day confession

Today, I learned that all of the anonymous Valentine's gifts I received throughout high school were sent out of pity by my sister. FML

Caught in 4K

Today, while parking, I accidentally hit my landlord's daughter's brand new car. I made a huge dent in the side door. I thought nobody was home, so I quickly went to my room. Turns out they were having a barbecue outside and saw the whole thing. FML

Today, I turned in an overdue English assignment at college. My instructor accused me of plagiarism, writing that my sentence structure was "TO" good. Seriously? FML

Stealthy

Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad into her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML