facesmasher

Today, I got talking to a pretty girl on the subway. Just as she was about to get off, I handed her my phone so that she could give me her number. She ran out with it. FML

Today, I discovered that my 20-year-old son has been using my bras for his jerk-off sessions. FML

Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML

Today, I found my elderly neighbour on all fours in my garden eating my flowers. FML