Today, a cop rear-ended me. Then I received a ticket from him for driving too far under the speed limit. We were in a school zone. FML
Today, my ex-girlfriend moved out. I came back to a sparsely furnished home; she'd even taken the shower head, my beard trimmer, and the soap from the bathroom. FML
Today, I showed my colleagues how I could switch on my webcam at home from the office. That's how we all found out my wife is cheating on me. FML
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Today, my expensive, multi-feature, waterproof watch was destroyed... by water. FML
Today, I was fired from my job. Apparently getting shot is no valid reason to stay home. FML
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