Typhoone_fml

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Typhoone_fml's favorite FMLs

By Gixie - 24/03/2013 15:56 - Ghana - Accra

Today, I gave my son a fork, so I could try teaching him how to eat with one. So far, he's been doing all the teaching. He's taught me that if I get anywhere near him when he has a fork, I'll get shanked. FML

agreeclassic 38 195

vote type 1 6 675

Gixie app_comment_confession_title

Gixie 25

Thursday 28 March 2013 3:24

Alright. Where to start. 1) I submitted this FML and someone liked it so much he decided to submit it as his own with a few modifications. That's why there are comments about "daddy". 2) My son is 18 months, is developmentally challenged and just learning. He did not actually get me. 3) It is a learning fork for children which has metal, rounded prongs so it doesn't hurt if he gets you or himself. 4) I did take away his fork to which he screamed and cried. When he settled down, I gave it back and he was content to stab his pancake. 5) Have you people never been stabbed by plasticware or a spork? That shit hurts! 6) I do not live in Ghana.

By erockinthesuburb - 11/04/2012 16:25 - United States - Algonquin

Today, I was stopped and searched by a cop, and he quickly found the bag of weed in my pocket. He didn't arrest or fine me, but he did confiscate my weed and told me to "get lost." Pretty sure I just got legally mugged. FML

agreeclassic 16 938

vote type 1 41 952

By uhhh what? - 10/04/2012 17:47 - United States - Bellevue

Today, my parents told me that I will grow up to be a criminal, living on the streets, on drugs. All this because I took the last chocolate egg. FML

agreeclassic 32 345

vote type 1 5 555

Who you gonna call?

By Baustigt - 10/04/2012 10:48 - Australia - Perth

Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML

agreeclassic 25 835

vote type 1 3 919

By minimum wage - 02/04/2012 08:38 - Canada

Today, I walked in on a homeless guy peeing on a turd on the floor of the women's restroom at the park. I'm a janitor for the city. FML

agreeclassic 28 354

vote type 1 2 408