Miss Mumbai, India 33 years-old Single
Today, I found out that my boyfriend is afraid of female orgasms. Right as I was about to climax, he panicked, pulled out, and ran into the bathroom. FML
Today, my parents told me that I will grow up to be a criminal, living on the streets, on drugs. All this because I took the last chocolate egg. FML
Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
Today, I found a video of a school play I starred in years ago. I was ecstatic, because it's really the only memento of my childhood I have left. Unfortunately, it started with my grandpa groaning, "Ahh shit," and degenerated into him muttering over the audio about "those fucking commies." FML
Today, I was so broke I went to Costco, not to buy anything, but to eat their free food samples. FML
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