lavaman93

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Fried chicken is life.

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Lavaman93's favorite FMLs

No help wanted

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Portland

Today, I saw a customer wandering around, looking confused. I went over and kindly asked if I could help him find anything. He said no, but that he'd help me find the teeth he'd knock out of my mouth if I didn't get lost. FML

agreeclassic 39 829

vote type 1 3 397

By Quincy_Ethan - 29/08/2014 21:22 - United States - Killeen

Today, my little sister was using my phone to play games. About an hour later, she came to me and said my phone wouldn't work. Turns out my phone had gotten hot and she put it in water to cool it down. FML

agreeclassic 43 216

vote type 1 5 358

By Anonymous - 29/08/2014 16:16 - United States - Port Lavaca

Today, it's been three weeks since my dad finished growing what he calls a "Jesus beard" and gone out asking for donations and claiming to be Jesus Christ. I've been trying and failing to get a job for 2 years, and he's already raking in cash from gullible idiots. FML

agreeclassic 42 210

vote type 1 3 972

By Amithatevil - 29/08/2014 12:35 - Japan - Kawasaki

Today, my brother told my 3 year-old son that cool kids call their parents by their real names. This wouldn't be half as bad if he hadn't also convinced my son that my real name was Satan. FML

agreeclassic 44 787

vote type 1 4 208

By Anonymous - 07/02/2014 18:51 - Mayotte - Mamoudzou

Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML

agreeclassic 45 295

vote type 1 3 664