29 years-old In a relationship
Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I was frantically searching for my cell phone. He was curious as to what I was doing so I told him. There was long silence followed by laughter. He could hardly breathe as he told me, "Honey you're on your phone talking to me." FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if I looked alright for our date. He said, "Honey, you look fine, just don't go out in public like that." FML
Today, I bought my cats two new litter boxes in hopes that they would use them. They still prefer to pee on the clothes in my closet. FML
Today, my girlfriend sexted me for the first time in months. Halfway through reading it I was getting kind of hot. Then I found a spelling mistake and all I could think to do was correct her. She now won't talk to me. FML
Today, my waiter turned to me and asked, "Let me guess, Miss I'm-not-fat-I'm-fluffy wants a Diet Coke?" FML
Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not because I usually whack off at my desk, but because enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML
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