Miss 35 years-old
Today, my girlfriend of 8 years dumped me. When I asked if there was another guy, she responded, "You were the other guy". FML
Today, we finally got wireless Internet. My mom won't let us open any doors or windows in fear that it might "let the Internet out". It's 103 degrees in here. FML
Today, I found out my dad thinks he's famous because he's been on 'Cops', twice. FML
Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML
Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML
Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML
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