sabrewulf992

Today, I got a paper cut while opening my box of Band-Aids. FML

Today, my best friend told me I'm the friend who no one really likes. This was after I had bought her lunch, ice cream, and a ticket to a movie we were going to see that day. FML

Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML

Today, I was on webcam with my girlfriend, who was naked. She turned the webcam to point it at the screen for a second, and she was also on webcam with another guy. FML