Today, I had to explain to my sobbing teenage daughter why you can't get pregnant from masturbating. FML
Today, I found out that if your boss unfriends you on Facebook, it's probably not a good sign. FML
Today, I was using the restroom when a little girl tried to open my stall. It was locked, so she slid under the door and tried to have a conversation with me while I was pooping. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by tossing the ring at me and saying "Here, wear this." FML
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