In a relationship
Today, I got a gift from my wife in the form of divorce papers. She waited till after New Year's so it wouldn't show up on her taxes for 2011. FML
Today, my older brother burst into my bedroom at 4 am to show me photos of sushi. FML
Today, I was singing the National Anthem at a school game and totally forgot the words. So I kept singing the same two lines over and over. FML
Today, I sold my Xbox and Kinect to a guy. I forgot that sometimes I'd play Dance Central naked, and the Kinect would make videos. This guy now has videos of me, naked, badly dancing. FML
Today, I went to the gynecologist for the first time. I was so nervous that when she extended her hand to shake mine, I gave her my handbag instead. FML
Today, I got my period at school. I didn't notice until a boy asked me if I'd killed someone in my pants. FML
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