Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML
Today, I was looking through my Internet browsing history. Apparently my wife had searched "How to have an affair without getting caught". FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me acne cream for my birthday. FML
Today, I paid for someone else's piss so that I could pass my drug test. I didn't pass the drug test. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML
Today, I realized that all the times I checked behind the shower curtain before peeing didn't prepare me for what to do if someone was actually there. FML
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