ariromy

Keeper

Today, I went on a blind date. He showed up in a shirt that read, "I F*ck On First Dates". FML

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML

Today, it's my birthday. My next-door neighbours gave me a stool and some rope. FML

Mah bawsac

Today, I accidentally twisted my balls in my own underwear so badly that I had to be hospitalized. FML