Mr Carllinville, USA 41 years-old Single
Today, I realized that getting an awesome new phone with all the new bells and whistles doesn't mean that people will now actually want to talk to me. FML
Today, it was my first day at my new job. My new boss asked me if I was single. After telling him I have been happily married for 6 years, he fired me on the spot. FML
Today, I found out my dad thinks he's famous because he's been on 'Cops', twice. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and told me to leave the house because "I've been mooching off her for too long". I'm 14 and now am sleeping at my friends house. FML
Today, a group of Girl Scouts came to my door selling chocolate bars. I bought two bars and smiled as they left, thinking I'd done a good deed. When the door closed, I heard one of the girls say, "Told you, the fat bitches always wanna buy from us." FML
Today, the police were canvassing my neighbourhood about a recent robbery. When I answered the door, my brother saw badges, panicked, and jumped out our apartment's third-storey window in an attempt to escape. He thought they were after him for using a bong two weeks ago. I'm related to this twit. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity. In my boyfriend's racecar bed. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
