LilAfro

Today, for my birthday, I got a Big Mac. FML

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is cheating on me, with the same guy I was cheating on him with. FML

Today, it was my next-door neighbor's birthday. Over the past year, his pitbull has attacked my stepdad several times and put some stiches on me. Lucky for us, the dog was finally put down. For his birthday my neighbor got a new, bigger, pitbull. FML

Today, on the airplane, the kid behind me kicked my seat hundreds of times, while the big bald guy next to me farted deadly ones repeatedly. I was on a non-stop 14-hour flight. FML

Road rage

Today, I sneezed with so much force while I was driving that I whacked my head on the steering wheel and honked the horn. FML

Today, I wanted to punish a student for being late. I decided to start a pop quiz before he arrived. I was positive there wasn't enough time for him to finish. He scored full marks and I couldn't say a word. FML