Today, I was hanging out with a guy that I really like. When he gave me a hug goodbye, he slid his hand into the back pocket of my jeans. It was glorious until I farted on his hand. FML
Today, my dad woke me up 3 hours early, after I'd been up very late the night before, because something "awesome" happened. Apparently the cashier at Dunkin' Donuts and I share the same first name. Thanks Dad. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me by writing a breakup note with permanent marker on my newly painted bedroom wall. FML
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