vegan_muffin

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Vegan_muffin's favorite FMLs

Well, this is awkward

By Samantha - 29/03/2009 03:14 - Canada

Today, I was having lunch at a cafe. There was an attractive guy looking at me from another table. I smiled back and gave a little wink. A minute later he approached me. I introduced myself and asked if he wanted my number. He said, "Um, no but what are you eating? It looks really good" FML

agreeclassic 50 215

vote type 1 21 880

By frostedmist - 14/12/2011 08:49 - Australia

Today, my dad took me to the 'Super Butcher'. It's basically a warehouse turned into a giant, walk-in meat freezer, complete with headless pig carcasses. I'm a vegetarian. FML

agreeclassic 29 473

vote type 1 12 531

frostedmist app_comment_confession_title

frostedmist 4

Thursday 15 December 2011 1:18

i'm a teenager. a"child" in my fathers eyes. and it's easily 28 degrees Celsius outside. and he managed to make me wear jeans and a jumper, saying it would be cold. i didn't know we were going there. He thought it would be ok for me to walked around in a giant meat freezer.

By lebato97 - 09/12/2011 03:35 - United States

Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML

agreeclassic 9 664

vote type 1 80 928

Mr Rogers

By JWhite - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my dad got drunk and thought it would be a great idea to clean up the yard by dumping gasoline all over the leaves and lighting our entire front yard on fire. FML

agreeclassic 33 695

vote type 1 2 742

Come again?

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, at work I asked a cute, albeit slightly large customer, her name. Being hard of hearing, I thought she said "Porky" and asked her about it. Turns out she'd said Courtney. FML

agreeclassic 30 790

vote type 1 11 276