ucanhascheezburg

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Ucanhascheezburg's favorite FMLs

Baywatch

By GuardOtto - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while lifeguarding, I saw someone in the wave-pool who appeared to be drowning. So, I jumped in to attempt to save him. Turns out he wasn't drowning, he only had one arm. He yelled at me. FML

agreeclassic 36 814

vote type 1 4 912

By Anonymous - 17/12/2009 01:57 - United States

Today, I tried to rid my son of his pacifier. He still uses it to sleep. My son is 20 years old. FML

agreeclassic 37 279

vote type 1 26 475

By buhknee - 25/11/2009 00:08 - United States

Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML

agreeclassic 76 543

vote type 1 13 516

By anonymous - 27/10/2009 13:27 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of five years gave me the silent treatment, refusing to talk to me or do anything more than glare at me during the entire three hour drive we took this morning. Why? Because I slept with his best friend. In his dream last night. FML

agreeclassic 529

vote type 1 54

By Michelle - 28/08/2009 17:11 - United States

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

agreeclassic 69 865

vote type 1 17 489