Miss Southern Calii, USA 30 years-old Single
Today, I was at a dance. I was griding with this guy when I felt something move in his pants. I stood up and stepped away. He replied with "Don't flatter yourself, it was my phone". FML
Today, I sneezed seven times in a row. That's the closest thing I've had to an orgasm in months. FML
Today, our family went out to a restaurant at night. My cousin and I needed to go to the restroom, so we told everyone before going. Less than three minutes later, we came out to find them gone, along with the cars. They forgot about their own kids. FML
Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML
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