epicfaceplant12

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Sammamish, USA
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About Epicfaceplant12

I like airsoft, parkour and skateboarding

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Epicfaceplant12's FML badges

100 kick-ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

The thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

The return of the thumb

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.

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Epicfaceplant12's favorite FMLs

Get away from me

By Jinthebar - 06/05/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, I was at a bar talking to a very attractive young woman. I began to see that she wanted me as she pulled closer and closer. Eventually she pulled me in and licked my ear lobe sensually. She then said, "I wanna break your collar bone" in a seductive tone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 167

You deserved it 7 963

Fake it til you make it

By tsardaukar - 01/04/2009 16:51 - United States

Today, bouncing at a local bar. I I.D.'d a girl with a group of people. I told her that next time she used a fake I.D., she at least should get one with a picture that looked like her. She started crying and ran off. A guy told me that she had been in a car wreck, and had been badly disfigured. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 633

You deserved it 72 791

By xero_art - 26/06/2009 09:51 - United States

Today, it's my birthday and I received a signed vintage Beatles' album from my wife. Awesome right? It's the same album some jerk way over-bidded me for on eBay. That jerk was my wife, using my credit card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 535

You deserved it 63

By John - 07/11/2009 16:04 - United States

Today, someone at work was bragging that their son was high school valedictorian and offered a full college scholarship. 7 years ago, I was also valedictorian and got that same scholarship. All I said was, "Congratulations. Did you want fries with that?" and continued taking their order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 842

You deserved it 7 353

Valedictorian02 tells us more.

Valedictorian02 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 3:31

It has to be one of those four, huh? Because you know of four situations so mine has to be one of those four? I'm OP. I took the scholarship, got a B.A. in Economics with a minor in Computer Science (not quite Basket-Weaving or Art History, sorry), did analysis for a company that recently went under, started working for a start-up until I ran out of money, then took the best job I could find, which happens to involve selling french fries. By the way, he DID want french fries. And he got them.

By wtfdreams - 17/05/2009 12:33 - United States

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 614

You deserved it 92