candycrush_fml

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West allis, Us
30 years-old
Monday 25 December 1995
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Candycrush_fml's favorite FMLs

Automaton

By Jessie - 25/12/2010 13:38 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML

agreeclassic 47 751

vote type 1 9 569

Check 'em

By David H. - 23/12/2010 08:18

Today, I saw my first boobs ever, at 18, volunteering at a retirement home. FML

agreeclassic 44 006

vote type 1 7 782

By hotmommy - 20/12/2010 00:23

Today, I went to the mall with my daughter. She asked me if she could go see Santa, so I said yes. She made me sit on his lap with her, and that's when I felt something on my bum. Let's just say Santa had a present for me. FML

agreeclassic 45 275

vote type 1 6 644

Let me Slytherin

By Wisconsin love - 13/12/2010 17:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML

agreeclassic 46 012

vote type 1 10 977