Mr Sydney, Australia 54 years-old
Today, I saw a video of me from over the weekend, naked, pretending to be a duck. What the fuck happened that night? FML
Today, I was texting my crush. I tried to say, "I need a nap," but my iPhone changed it to "I need anal." I sent it. FML
Today, I unpacked in my new, non-air conditioned apartment wearing nothing but underwear, a tank top and an apron to stay cool. Later, I realized I'd crossed through the complex to my car and the dumpster many times, and arranged my deck overlooking the parking lot, without ever donning shorts. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the couch and must have rolled off. When I woke up, I noticed my braces were stuck to the rug. After frantically pulling, my mom finally sawed me off the rug with scissors. FML
Today, I held the door open for an old man in a motorized wheelchair. He missed the door, hit my foot, and called me an asshole for getting in his way. FML
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