barkerman00

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Barkerman00's favorite FMLs

By Dezzy - 03/11/2014 19:06 - United States - Springfield

Today, I decided to give my boyfriend a surprise striptease. After I turned around, I heard him murmur "Oh, wow." I turned back around, only to find him watching a gif of a cat falling into snow in slow motion. FML

agreeclassic 42 277

vote type 1 4 941

On the case

By Pixel - this FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Canada - Castlegar

Today, I was supposed to go in for a polygraph test as part of the hiring process to be a cop, but I was so nervous that I couldn't sleep. Finally two hours before the exam, I fell into a deep sleep, so deep that I slept through all my alarms. Worst part: I couldn't lie about sleeping in. FML

agreeclassic 37 756

vote type 1 5 659

Teenagers in love

By Anonymous - 09/11/2014 18:23

Today, I sat my son down for a talk about how he's been too lazy to brush his teeth lately. I said, "Son, we need to have a chat about oral hygiene." He rolled his eyes, sighed, and said he already knew to clean "it" before a girl went down on him, and asked if he could go already. FML

agreeclassic 42 632

vote type 1 5 535

By Anonymou$ - 06/11/2014 23:37 - United States - Daphne

Today, I spent over $2,000 on a big flatscreen TV. My dad insisted I let him mount it on the wall instead of paying someone to do it. All seemed fine, until the TV came loose and smashed onto the floor. My dad refuses to accept responsibility, and says I should've had a professional install it instead. FML

agreeclassic 46 062

vote type 1 7 812

By NoJobNovember - 06/11/2014 19:09 - United States - Wadsworth

Today, I took a video of a fellow employee doing nothing but watching YouTube videos at work. When I showed the video to my boss, hoping he'd be reprimanded, I got fired for operating video equipment on company grounds. FML

agreeclassic 29 573

vote type 1 38 313