Today, I went up to a secluded mountain my boyfriend took me to for our first date. As I saw another couple hooking up in the bushes, I phoned my boyfriend to tell him someone found our secret spot. His Bob Marley ringtone started playing from the bush. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to mix it up and find a good place outdoors to have fun. After an hour of climbing up a rocky mountainside to a completely isolated clearing, out of the way of any hiking path, he was still so paranoid that he finished within 20 seconds. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were at a park, alone, late at night. Things were getting kind of heavy and he started undressing me, when we heard a loud "Hey!" and a flashlight coming through the bushes. My boyfriend then decided to ditch me, while still holding my shirt and bra. FML
Today, I went for a hike with my new boyfriend on a fairly deserted trail my ex-husband had shown me awhile back. In all my hikes there, I've never seen another person and figured it would be okay to get intimate. Guess who came hiking past? That's right, my ex-husband. And our 8yr old son. FML
Today, I went on a hiking date with my significant other. Trying to be adventurous and assertive, I suggested we take a shortcut through the woods. We got hopelessly lost and ended up spending the night in a deserted ranger station. Turns out, my idea of adventure is not quite as romantic as it sounds. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went on a romantic date to a botanical garden in the hills. A giant bushfire erupted in the hills on our way, meaning we're now stuck out here because the roads are closed. So romantic. FML
Today, I was at the park with my new boyfriend. We were sitting between some trees when some of his mates turned up in the park. He pushed me behind a tree so his mates wouldn't see and went to join them in a game of football. He pretended not to know me. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to record us having sex and me screaming his name. He set it as my ringtone without telling me. I had my phone volume on high as I was hanging out with my family. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were on a picnic date out in the country, things got a little heated. When we were switching positions, he screamed and started running around. Turns out neither of us noticed the beehive in the tree above us until his dick got stung. FML
Today, it's been a week since I flew down to stay with my long-distance boyfriend. We went on long walks on the shore, under the stars, and had an unforgettable picnic viewing the sunset. I just now received a message of screenshots displaying him attempting to hook up with another girl. FML
Today, I was playing a game on my boyfriend's phone when he got a text from a girl saying, "Last night was so fun." When I asked him about it, he panicked and said, "We were hunting Bigfoot." FML
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Top comments
Spadiethestar 0
Aouch.. poor you.. Well at least you know where you stand with this worm of a man.... And, btw, sorry to have to say that, but get yourself checked for STD, such a loser may have fooled around without protection...
z620 0
don't worry about a thing because every little thing is gonna be alright
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Comments (215)
ZiggyMorrison 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Well atleast he has good taste in music
lil_jkt 0
@ #1 best reply, bro..lmao
jimjones_fml 0
no woman no cry!!!
paramorefan125 0
lol my thots exactly
z620 0
don't worry about a thing because every little thing is gonna be alright
greenman_fml 0
Have a three-some, push both off mountain. You win
iwanina 0
no, I think you win
ncvolley123 8
u r an old perv. u remind me of the rapest in the lovely bones.
ThatGuyWithHair 0
Learn to spell you douchebag.
vollyball921 0
178- lmao thts wut I was thinkin xD
festivalham 0
SO TRUE!!
kari1991 0
178, I thought that too!!
wiggs5 0
181: says the girl who can't spell herself?
hansbaby 0
192- she wasn't talking about the spelling, she was talking about the lovely bones rapist person.
ky765 0
he def does but book was btter
davidomke 0
wow, what a jerk 2, you rock :P
Spadiethestar 0
Aouch.. poor you.. Well at least you know where you stand with this worm of a man.... And, btw, sorry to have to say that, but get yourself checked for STD, such a loser may have fooled around without protection...
Jimboom 12
Lol@ #2! Awesome! But yea, push them both off. You already got the secluded spot. Would be a shame not to make good use of it. ;-)
qwerty3 0
#2 - hahah nice :) good idea and yeah that sucks, but better that you found out..
rukusrazor 0
No Woman, No cry! No. Woman. No. Cry.
mal2012 4
Number 8 LMAOOOOO!!! Ur response is hilarious. But Op! Thats sucks. DO NOT TAKE HIM BACK!
shaBAMalex 0
What are the odds, eh?
jsx12345 0
are you dtf?
Jemm_fml 29
#2, #6: epic win. OP: Set the bush on fire first THEN follow #6's advice after the fire's spread a bit. #8: LOL
mindylou 1
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You went and had sex in a bush on your FIRST DATE and a surprised he's there with someone else? YDI and probably not old enough to be having sex in the first place.
mooshibear140 4
who said they had sex in the bush? all she said was she and her boyfriend went there on her first date. -.-
mal2012 4
Number 12. U are dismissed Go sit down
Seirye 2
She didn't say anything about HER having sex with him, dumbass. Did you even read all of it?