Today, during my weekly search through my daughter’s phone, I found out she joined a number of Facebook groups I didn’t know about. They were all about surviving toxic and abusive mothers. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out I have a daughter. How did I find out? She added me on Facebook. FML
Today, I logged onto Facebook and found out that my own mother unfriended me because she didn't want her new boyfriend to know that she had a daughter. FML
Today, I'm ashamed at ever having become a parent after I found out my daughter has been leading an online bullying campaign against a girl at her school who has disabilities, both mental and physical. Some of the language she was using in the online messages were just disgusting and unforgivable. FML
Today, my daughter posted a poem on Facebook about how her father and I abused her for years. It's a complete lie and an obvious attempt to impress her boyfriend, whom she thanked for "rescuing" her. I've received several hateful messages already, along with threats to report me to CPS. FML
Today, I found out that the man I met online was a fake Facebook account, made by my daughter and her friends. FML
Today, some girl's mom gave me a load of abuse for endangering her daughter's health. How? By deleting my Facebook account, which caused her to have a serious panic attack. Apparently she thought we were best friends, and that I was ditching her. I'm confused too. FML
Today, I found out that my mom uses my Facebook account more than I do. FML
Today, I found out that my daughter has a hit list. There are over thirty names on there. My name is on it as well. FML
Today, I Googled myself. I found my mugshot and a blog my mom had written about how much of a problem child I am. FML
Today, I discovered my husband has a secret Facebook where he is a member of many step dad support groups. I thought it was sweet he was asking for advice, until I read some of what he posted. It was purely ranting about how much he hates my kids to other dads, who also hate their step kids. FML
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Top comments
turnabouttrial 21
Easy YDI. Your children are humans, and humans need privacy. Helicopter parenting teaches kids how to hide things from you, not good behavior. You love her, right? Then trust her to make good decisions and be there for her when she makes mistakes, and then MAYBE you'll earn her trust too.
Justkidding100 41
never voted YDI faster in my life
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Comments (16)
turnabouttrial 21
Easy YDI. Your children are humans, and humans need privacy. Helicopter parenting teaches kids how to hide things from you, not good behavior. You love her, right? Then trust her to make good decisions and be there for her when she makes mistakes, and then MAYBE you'll earn her trust too.
Billsonhamsen 17
Trust is earned. Don't trust that your children won't do bad things. Teach them what is right and give them boundaries. That is what they want and need.
Nazmazh 18
Has your daughter actually done anything to merit a weekly thorough phone search like that? It'd be one thing if you had legitimate concerns based on past behaviour, but if she's always been honest and lacks any sort of seriously bad habits, this is really intrusive for no good reason. If anything, it'll just teach her that you can't be trusted with any information that might upset you, meaning she'll hide difficult or dangerous situations from you, rather than seek your help. Like, the very, very occasional random check might be reasonable, even for a generally good kid (to make sure you haven't completely missed something that actually might be concerning) - But weekly? That's just training her to make sure anything she doesn't want you to see isn't easily findable. In fact, I'd wager the group-joining and not hiding it might have even been to send you a message the next time you snooped through her phone.
Billsonhamsen 17
Children need to know they are being checked up on so that they have a reason to follow rules. OP is right to check her children's phones weekly if not daily. The Internet is like a buffet filled with rat poison shaped food. Children can not tell the difference until after they get poisoned and by that time the damage has been done. Keep checking her phone or just take it away and give it to her when she is going out or whatever.
DounutCereal 24
I feel sorry for your kids having to live in that kind of prison
UniUni 20
You and op are both dumbasses. If you raise your kids right, you wouldn't have to worry
Dr_Alex 10
You don't say!
Justkidding100 41
never voted YDI faster in my life
SirEnigM0nk 22
Time to land that chopper. An occasional check to make sure she is staying out of trouble is reasonable. Unless she has given you reason not to trust her, or otherwise has a penchant for mischief, this is uncalled for. It will only lead to her not trusting you when she needs help.
longnight83 9
YDI. The fact that you came here to talk about your WEEKLY INVASION OF YOUR CHILD'S PRIVACY with no context to indicate why you DISTRUST HER SO THOROUGHLY THAT YOU FEEL THIS IS NECESSARY, and expected anything less than her seeking help on how to cope with the CRIPPLING LIFELONE MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL DAMAGE you are causing her is what's most surprising here.
thefmlman2011 37
are you expecting sympathy? You need help
Crowned Sataness 12
now you know how your terrible parenting makes her feel. instead of punishing her, take it to heart and make some changes. if this continues, you're not going to have a daughter after she's grown
Billsonhamsen 17
I actually agree with this one. Take the time to be a parent and teach her why you need to look in her phone. Teach her why the stuff on the Internet is damaging and teach her about predators. Keep checking that phone though.
Billsonhamsen 17
Time to take the phone away. Kids don't need them and social media is toxic.
UniUni 20
The parent is toxic you dumb ****
bearded 7
Did anybody consider that the OP could be the father and not the mother? If it is the mother then YDI.
Suaria 38
The thing about FML is that it tells you what gender the OP is. In this case, the OP is a woman.