The Top

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The all-time greatest FMLs

Don't cheat

By SueJonn - 12/08/2021 16:00 - United States

Today, the essay-writing guy I met on Facebook Messenger who I paid $200 to do my research paper gave me a paper unrelated to the topic. It’s due at midnight tonight. It’s a 8-page long assignment. He blocked me on Facebook. Goodbye graduation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 3 466

Dazed and confused

By Anonymous - 27/10/2025 03:00

Today, after my workout, I opened my locker to find… nothing. No phone, no keys, no wallet. I panicked and reported it to the front desk. Turns out I’d used locker 37, but my stuff was in 73. The staff found it immediately. I thanked them like they’d saved my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 378

Acquired taste

By Anonymous - 05/12/2025 12:00

Today, my daughter said she wanted to be vegetarian like me. Beaming with pride, I made her plant-based burgers for dinner. She took one bite, screamed, "EW!" and started crying and begging for beef burgers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 486

I tried

By Anonymous - 02/07/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, after spending two hours baking cookies for my niece's school's fundraiser, I packed them into a container and drove to the school. When I got there, the teacher looked confused and said the fundraiser was next Saturday. By the time the actual date arrived, every cookie had been eaten by my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 309

Shattered

By Help me - 23/03/2026 00:00

Today, after dumping my fiancé and altering my life following my therapist's advice so I could be free and self-sufficient, I finally feel like I'm in control of my life! However, I just had a dream where I was married to my ex and had two beautiful babies, and I cried so hard I had to call out sick. What have I done? FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 513

Dude, why?

By Anonymous - 30/07/2023 06:00

Today, I texted sweet nothings to a phone number written on the side of my tumble dryer, thinking my crush had left it there, all cute like. Turns out the phone number belongs to my landlord’s maintenance guy, who was not at all flattered by my midnight serenade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 1 528

Overreaction

By Anonymous - 20/12/2025 00:00

Today, after getting fed up with my girlfriend ignoring me about drinking caffeine while carrying my baby, I tried to fix it by secretly switching her coffee with decaf. Apparently she found out, before telling me she’s leaving me for someone “less controlling.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 885

Rant of the day

By che - 01/11/2024 09:00 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I really hate you. Why would you lie to me and tell me you chose me over her, just to talk to her again behind my back? I forgave you, we ended on good terms, I'm happy with that. I'm not really mad with you, I'm just confused and sad. The whole time my friends were telling me to stop and they were right about you. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 585

Sticky situation

By Anonymous - 09/05/2023 12:00 - United States - Burton

Today, I found out that all together, I have mono, strep, a UTI, and a enlarged spleen. How am I going to tell my friend that I made out with his dad, and now his dad is sick? This man gives his newborn kisses every night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 1 519

Memory hole

By Anonymous - 30/12/2024 12:00 - United States - San Jose

Today, I confidently walked into what I thought was my friend's apartment for a party, only to find a confused elderly couple staring at me. Turns out, I was not only three doors down from where I thought his front door was, I was also on the wrong floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 462

Derpina

By No, I am NOT!!! - 27/02/2026 00:00

Today, in our homecoming high school reunion, the batch's "derpina" broke cardinal rule #1, "No +1", by bringing her baby, brandishing her to everyone. When it was my turn, as I held the baby, she said her first word, "Daddy" and just like back in school, everyone started to tease me with her all over again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 306

DIY

By Jezza - 02/12/2025 03:00

Today, I tried fixing the squeak in my bedroom door. Instead, I made it dramatically louder. That night, when I sneaked to the kitchen for a snack, the door shrieked like a horror movie prop. My family thought someone broke in. It was just me craving chips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 328

Go get it

By Anonymous - 22/01/2025 03:00 - United States - Burlington

Today, I was excited to teach my new puppy how to fetch. I threw the stick, and he just stared at it, then stared back at me with his tongue lolling out, as if to say, "You threw it. You go get it." I’ve now spent the past 30 minutes fetching my own stick, hoping he'd join in. Nope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 341

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

By Anonymous - 19/07/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I knocked on the door of my friend’s apartment to surprise her. It opened, and an angry stranger shouted, “Who are you?” at me. I then realized I was on the wrong floor of the building. My friend still doesn’t know I almost barged in on her neighbor, because I'm too embarrassed to tell her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 371

Convoluted

By Anonymous - 14/11/2023 04:00

Today, while at home, I accidentally let out a big, loud fart near my dad. When he asked what the noise was, I blamed it on the cat. I remembered too late that we don't have a cat. My dad caught on quickly and grounded me for lying in front of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 755

High performance, high risk quipping

By Anonymous - 29/04/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, a police officer pulled me over while I was riding my high performance motorbike. He asked if I knew why he'd pulled me over. It was too tempting to resist at the time, but in hindsight telling him ,“Because I let you?” was not the best idea I’ve ever had. Cops have no sense of humour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 845

Not a theater kid

By Serious actor - 16/06/2026 03:00 - United States - New York

Today, I signed up for a theater production as they needed extras. I had exactly one line in the entire play. During opening night, I became so focused on remembering the line, I forgot to walk on stage when it was my cue. People stood there on stage waiting for my character, who was backstage, congratulating himself for not forgetting his line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 345

Where am I?

By Blind AF - 04/11/2023 06:00 - United States

Today, I mistook a straw hat for a stack of pancakes. In case you hadn't figured it out, I forgot my glasses at home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 346

Name that tune!

By Anonymous - 06/09/2025 15:00 - United States - Toledo

Today, I signed up for karaoke at a bar, thinking I’d picked a fun, easy song. When it started playing, I realized I'd unknowingly chosen the eight-minute extended remix with two full guitar solos. I had to awkwardly sway on stage for five minutes while everyone drank their beers silently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 375

Addicted to mid

By Anonymous - 17/11/2025 00:00

Today, the Gen Z at the office introduced me to this book series from "#booktok." I thought why not, and i just read it. I ended up reading all three books in a week and obsessing over the series while the Gen Z didn't move past the first one. The series isn't even that good, but I'm stuck now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 337

Desperate times, desperate measures

By Anonymous - 17/12/2024 00:00 - United States - Fallbrook

Today, I hit a low point when I changed the AI Snapchat bot's Bitmoji to look identical to my ex-girlfriend's Bitmoji and have a conversation with it just to feel wanted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 513

First day

By Henry - 29/03/2026 20:00

Today, I started a new job and wanted to seem organized, so I brought a homemade lunch in a container. I went to heat it up, but forgot to remove the lid completely. The container exploded in the microwave, covering the inside with sauce. I spent my lunch break cleaning it while my coworkers smirked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 351

Mad about you

By Anon - 28/10/2024 20:00 - United States - Tulsa

Today, I tried to act extra confident by making intense eye contact during a meeting. My boss finally stopped talking and asked, “Do you need something, or are you just glaring at me?” Now everyone thinks I have a crush on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 537

His loss

By nooooo - 22/06/2026 20:00 - United States - New York

Today, a hot guy asked me to meet him at a barbecue restaurant. I reminded him that I was vegan. He replied, "Oh, my bad. Forget it then." and didn't respond to my desperate follow up texts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 612

Procrastinating my life away

By Beatrix - 11/11/2024 22:00 - Canada

Today, I tried to be productive and got dressed in real clothes instead of sweatpants. I spent the next four hours on the couch binge-watching Netflix and pretending I had plans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 407

NO SLEEPING ALLOWED

By BADBOYRI - 13/12/2024 14:00 - India - Chennai

Today, I fell asleep on the barber's chair so many times that he got mad and "accidentally" sprayed water on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 590

How do people still get caught out like this?

By Fern - 16/09/2024 16:00 - Canada

Today, I was sat in front of my computer, waiting for a Zoom meeting with my coworkers to start. I started doing interpretive dance arm movements to the jazzy funky hold music. Turns out that the camera wasn’t off, and everyone was silently watching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 565

Miserable bastard

By Jane - 29/06/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I called my husband when his shift at work ended to talk about what we needed to do this weekend. He got angry and asked if he could have "five goddamn minutes" after work to get home and change before I started "throwing the fucking to do list at me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 1 636

Gimme the money, lady

By Yudith - 02/01/2026 20:00

Today, I have to send to court for non-payment of rent the lady whose lease was apparently written by a four-year-old, or so the last judge who dismissed the last non-payment case for the same lady said. Said lady owes more than three months of rent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 297

Classic move

By Anonymous - 25/01/2025 09:00 - United States - Houston

Today, I was on a date and tried to act seductive and mysterious by slowly sipping my drink while making eye contact with him. I misjudged the straw’s length and location and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 144

You deserved it 547

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The Top

Today, my vegan girlfriend openly admitted that she'd let me die if she had to choose between saving my life or an animal's. She actually seemed confused as to why that upset me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 922

You deserved it 4 409

Today, because I refused to shave off what my wife calls my "pedo 'stache", she painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 005

You deserved it 30 019

Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was, "A man running." I didn't even get an apology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 426

You deserved it 2 853

Today, I realized that my ex has REALLY dumped me for a video game. And he will not change his mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 246

You deserved it 6 044

Today, I found out that my girlfriend is actually a man. Not a transgender person, I'm okay with that, but an actual gay man who gets a kick out of pranking other guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 585

You deserved it 1 029

Today, my girlfriend told me that she doesn't want a physical relationship, but an emotional one instead. I said that I was fine with that, as long as we talked things through in the future. She dumped me there and then, because "no straight guy would agree to that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 292

You deserved it 465