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The all-time greatest FMLs

Shenanigans

By seriouslywtf - 09/12/2023 12:00 - British Virgin Islands

Today, I found out that my husband is cheating on me with my ex-boyfriend, who came out about six months ago. We were still friends, and after they met, my husband admitted that he'd always wanted to "experiment." When I confronted them, he shook hands with my ex and said, "Now I get why you choose guys after her." FML

I agree, your life sucks 653

You deserved it 253

Going great, eh?

By Anonymous - 12/01/2024 04:00 - United States - San Pedro

Today, I found out that my kids hate and are actively ignoring me; my wife is bipolar and she swears she hates me too after over 20 years of marriage, and my job sucks the life out of me every single day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 653

You deserved it 157

Overachiever

By Is he stupid? - 26/12/2023 15:00 - United States

Today, due to being stressed and overwhelmed by my tasks, I made a mistake and completed a few of my colleagues' tasks as well. When I informed my boss about it, he said that I did an outstanding job, but I shouldn't have messed with other people's documents. As a result, my promised raise is cancelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 652

You deserved it 191

Sorry honey

By Anonymous - 30/11/2022 00:00

Today, my boyfriend and I get along very well, but I’m not used to being extremely close to somebody. Every time we are together, I always somehow manage to elbow him in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 652

You deserved it 223

Bit of a sore loser

By Anonymous - 23/07/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I’m divorcing my husband. Not because he plays video games, but because he lost a round and wrecked the living room for the second time in six months. He broke the TV, slammed his PS5 into the ground, and threw his $400 gaming chair through the sliding glass door into the backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 652

You deserved it 70

The pits

By Anonymous - 14/01/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, my mom revoked my shower privileges for a week, all because I'm “using too much water.” I'm the kind of person who will smell like garbage after one skipped shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 652

You deserved it 126

Happy International Friendship Day!

By FML Approved - 30/07/2017 18:30

Are your friends as great as these? In honor of this special day, maybe DON'T make up an excuse not to hang out with your friends. They're not soooo bad...

I agree, your life sucks 652

You deserved it 156

Life goals

By BlackRose - 07/08/2021 18:01

Today, I realized I’d rather be the crazy cat lady rather than get married and have kids like a normal human. FML

I agree, your life sucks 652

You deserved it 325

Go long

By Ungrateful - 04/08/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, my husband threw an epic tantrum because I asked him to put away the leftovers from dinner. Yeah, because I guess me going to the grocery store, then preparing and serving the food AFTER working a 10 hour day wasn’t enough. Thanks babe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 652

You deserved it 136

I'm a grown-ass man!

By geodemaster - 30/01/2022 23:00

Today, I texted my dad, “My body hates me.” His response was, “No. You are pushing responsibility off yourself and refusing to do anything about it by saying that.” I was actively making a doctor’s appointment at the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 652

You deserved it 425

By Anonyme - 04/01/2011 11:30 - Algeria

Today, my mom corrected all the spelling mistakes in my diary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 652

You deserved it 90

By Ca ira merci - 30/07/2009 09:13 - Morocco

Today, while on holiday in Morocco, I got arrested by a cop. “Sir, you were driving at 90 instead of 70?” I was sure that I hadn’t offended, so I asked, “Where’s the speed camera?” He pointed at his eye and said, “It’s right here.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 652

You deserved it 92

That's not how that works

By fishbearpig - 17/01/2024 12:00 - Romania

Today, I got scammed of 16k by a car dealer. I went to the place, paid for the car, and paid to have it transported to my address. The car should've been delivered, the dealer vanished either way with the car. The police and bank can’t do much, and I lost my money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 652

You deserved it 188

Don't overdo it, it's bad for you

By sara - 13/05/2021 07:59 - Canada

Today, I have wasted so much time reading comments on this page that FML comments have become my favorite bedtime stories. FML

I agree, your life sucks 652

You deserved it 330

Big red flag

By Ultimate ultimatum - 05/09/2024 14:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, my boyfriend is threatening to dump me if I don’t give him all the details of my menstruation so he can track my periods with an app on his phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 652

You deserved it 108

Cucked

By Anonymous - 21/12/2021 20:01

Today, my wife confessed to me that she used to sext her old coworker, and almost had sex with him. The bad part is that it turned me on. Should I encourage her? FML

I agree, your life sucks 651

You deserved it 1 174

Bored senseless

By Anonymous - 25/02/2022 12:00 - United States - Verona

Today, I realized this virus pandemic lockdown had no effect on my love life as I spent another free night cutting 1/4 inch thick calluses off my feet, as I have done before all this happened two years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 651

You deserved it 180

Taxi!

By Anonymous - 22/01/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I brought my Tinder date back to my house to cook for her. I made her gnocchi, because she had never had it before. She forgot to tell me she was lactose intolerant, and proceeded to spend the next 30 minutes violently and loudly shitting. I poisoned my date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 651

You deserved it 130

Been there before

By OopsieDoopsie - 03/04/2023 10:00 - United States - Ridgewood

Today, I'm so chronically sleep-deprived that I sprayed a bathroom air freshener under my arms instead of my deodorant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 651

You deserved it 203

Nature finds a way

By Anonymous - 11/09/2023 22:00

Today, I hooked up with a girl who had a total Nicki Minaj butt. She wanted me to do her doggy style, and the spirit was willing but the flesh wasn’t long enough to reach more than an inch inside, no matter how much we readjusted. We ended up switching to missionary, but neither of us were happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 651

You deserved it 201

Commuter blues

By Brücken NRW - 20/12/2023 15:00 - Germany

Today, I have to cross a bridge every day on my way to work. Except for this week, as the bridge was closed for repairs and the detour turned my half an hour drive into one and a half hours. Now it turns out that the bridge is irreparably damaged and has to be replaced, which will likely take four or five years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 651

You deserved it 104

Butter fingers

By ImNotVeryBright - 10/03/2022 02:01

Today, I was on my phone while it was charging. My hands fumbled a bit, and my phone slipped out of my fingers. Thinking quickly, I grabbed it by the charging cable to save it. The cable unplugged, and my phone now has a pretty crack on the screen from hitting the tile floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 651

You deserved it 372

Cartoonish

By You knock me off my feet - 14/04/2023 03:00 - United States

Today, it's so windy, I actually fell over and nearly flew into the street the moment I walked outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 651

You deserved it 159

Nope, no way

By Anonymous - 01/02/2024 09:00

Today, my mom is sulking because I won’t let her house-sit for me while I’m away for 4 months. Her house is a pigsty, a hoarder would be ashamed to live in her house, and growing up in that house is what gave me an OCD for cleaning, yet she thinks I should trust her promises that she’ll keep my house tidy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 651

You deserved it 91

Keep up!

By AstralLuna - 05/03/2021 17:01 - United States - Sacramento

Today, I, a demigirl struggling with her identity, have decided to change my name. When I told my dad in therapy (of all places) that I was a demigirl, he struggled to understand me. When I told my mom I was changing my name, she yelled at me and refused to call me it. And she wonders why I don't trust her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 651

You deserved it 1 181

Stinky

By mechgineer - 14/09/2023 18:00 - United States - Watertown

Today, my wife is 20 weeks pregnant and today is the first day that my natural, clean scent makes her nauseous. We don’t have somewhere else I can sleep and we both work from home. Twenty more weeks to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 651

You deserved it 146

Tactical

By Anonymous - 10/10/2023 19:30 - United Kingdom

Today, I discovered the hard way that training in martial arts means nothing when the thug harassing your wife at the bar has a mate stood behind you ready, willing, and able to kick you square in the balls with a toe-capped work boot while you’re getting into your correct fighting stance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 651

You deserved it 372

We're in hell

By Anonymous - 15/01/2024 06:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, after leaving my abusive partner, I checked into a hotel through a crisis service. Since then, I've been asked to have sex for $20, and also yelled at for not driving a woman to a shopping centre, which is a 5-minute walk away. I don't drive and have been here for an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 651

You deserved it 103

By Anonyme - 22/10/2014 05:31 - Colombia - Bogot

Today, my boyfriend whispered to me, “I’m so tired of these fucking mosquitos.” When I asked why he was whispering, he said, “So they can’t hear me.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 650

You deserved it 75

Marital bliss

By Anonymous - 04/11/2024 22:00 - Romania - Baia Mare

Today, my wife admitted she's upset with me because she can see I'm unhappy in our marriage. We've been married for over two months and we still haven't had penetrative sex because she's scared of the pain. I cook and care for the house alone (I work remotely), I make 6 times as much money as her, but she's mad I'm sad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 650

You deserved it 212

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The Top

Today, I bought a new phone. It's shock proof, water proof, you name it. Just not kitten proof, it seems. That's $400 down the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 252

You deserved it 1 959

Today, I was given a new responsibility at the law firm where I work. I'm now in charge of punching holes in every single piece of paper to be found in the office, estimated to be in the hundred-thousands. The reason? I finish my daily clerical work too quickly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 382

You deserved it 2 577

Today, I went to my doctor for a check-up. It started with the doctor lifting my shirt up to check my heartbeat, and ended with my gran starting a fistfight over his "perverted ways." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 784

You deserved it 2 714

Today, I decided it would be pretty amusing to press the "Like" button on everyone's status on Facebook without reading them just to get on peoples' nerves. After re-reading them later, I found out one of them said "I MISS YOU SOO MUCH GRANDMOM. RIP". I liked that her grandmother died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 665

You deserved it 200 253

Today, I went on a Tinder date with a hot British guy. He spent 90% of the date talking about his ex, but I invited him back to my place anyway. He came after 20 minutes of foreplay then left without even offering to get me off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 097

You deserved it 8 060

Today, it's my birthday, none of my friends wished me a thing. I spent the whole day crying and then decided to call few of them and sobbingly demanded an explanation. Most of them didn't pick up, the rest called me a drama queen, saying that my birthday isn't as important as I think. FML

I agree, your life sucks 778

You deserved it 1 817