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The all-time greatest FMLs

What would you do?

By Anonymous - 03/08/2024 00:00 - United States - Tuscaloosa

Today, I found out my partner is cheating on me with several women. I broke up with him but he won’t move out without legal action (he is staying in my apartment), so I’m literally stuck being around him. He’s been very toxic and petty since I found out. I just want this to end. FML

I agree, your life sucks 661

You deserved it 148

Sharing is caring

By Anonymous - 28/03/2023 10:00 - United States - Leawood

Today, I finally shared some of my insecurities and difficulties I’m experiencing with a close friend. The response was great, they listened, and gave advice. Later I met another friend, who said that they’re here for me. Everyone was just trying to help, but now almost everyone I know knows. I feel worse than before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 661

You deserved it 199

Not so spooky

By Hailey - 01/11/2022 10:00

Today, I went out to my first Halloween event in 5 years, only to find out my boyfriend just saw it as an obstacle to playing Pokemon Go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 661

You deserved it 178

Hang ups

By at least put on sexy underwear - 01/09/2023 20:00

Today, my girlfriend complained that we never have sex anymore. The only way she ever wants sex is missionary, with barely any foreplay. When I asked if we could spice things up and mentioned a few simple ideas, she said the conversation was making her uncomfortable and changed the subject. FML

I agree, your life sucks 661

You deserved it 141

Venn diagram of healthy living

By Anonymous - 10/02/2023 00:00

Today, after a conversation with my dentist on how to prevent further suffering, I realized that what is good for my teeth, my health, and my digestion are actually three different things that don’t offer much overlap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 661

You deserved it 117

Search and rescue

By Anonymous - 04/03/2024 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I called my ex-husband to tell him our daughter was missing (the police have since found her, she’s fine) and he told me not to bother him with shit like that, because she’s my responsibility since she chose to live with me after the divorce. He then hung up the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 661

You deserved it 266

Hard times all around

By Anonymous - 16/03/2023 00:00

Today, I learnt that I am going to have to cut back on what is already a skinny budget to afford my kid's childcare cost increase. I earn in the 97th percentile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 661

You deserved it 273

Having a whale of a time

By Anonymous - 13/04/2023 10:00 - Germany - Buchholz in der Nordheide

Today, my boyfriend is packing up his apartment and my parents have gone to a seminar, but I can’t complain about being lonely during the Easter holidays. I'm being kept company by a hundred industrious ants, a very loud cat, and an enthusiastic Aunt Flo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 661

You deserved it 160

Explain this

By Jenny - 17/01/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, my husband smacked me quite hard, and I have a black eye as a result. It's not a case of a domestic abuse, it was 100% unintended because he was sleeping and had a really bad dream that made him swing his arm. He's feeling bad about it, and I would laugh it off, but I have an important meeting tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 661

You deserved it 99

NHS for all

By Toothache - 19/06/2023 00:02

Today, during a routine visit to the dentist, she advised me to get root canal treatment done, to avoid any future pain. As we are traveling abroad where we won't have insurance, my husband is forcing me to get RCT within four days. I'm in so so much pain, life is hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 661

You deserved it 157

By Croissant - 23/09/2014 06:01 - Japan - Kochi

Today, I’m french and am studying in Japan. One of my teachers, passionate about France, opened a magazine about French bread and asked me if it tasted good. I cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 661

You deserved it 123

I'm normal, I swear

By Anonymous - 17/06/2021 18:01

Today, I was doing weird voice impressions for my friend right before the doorbell rang and I had the front window open. The postman looked at me strangely, handed me my parcel and didn't say a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 660

You deserved it 247

Alexa, play "Schizophrenia" by Sonic Youth

By But is killing them really that bad? - 14/05/2023 12:00 - United States - Carson City

Today, my parents have gone from expecting nearly-impossible things to being convinced I can't do basic tasks. Apparently if you're not schizophrenic you can do things that are ridiculous, and if you're schizophrenic you can't do anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 660

You deserved it 148

Too trusting

By Anonymous - 07/09/2023 00:02 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I tried to stifle a sneeze while on the train and instead shat myself a little bit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 660

You deserved it 201

Got a screw loose

By stupid^2 - 04/10/2021 20:00

Today, I did something you never ever should do. I removed the screw in the shower drain. What I didn't know was that it's impossible to know if the shower will leak afterwards. I just wanted to properly clean the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 660

You deserved it 308

The truth

By Anonymous - 29/06/2026 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was asked to donate blood for our daughter but it turns out I’m Type O while she is AB, so there is no chance she's my daughter, and my wife cheated on me. So I asked for our other two kids' types. My son is AB so he’s not mine. Our other daughter is O, so she might be the only one that's mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 660

You deserved it 61

Welcome to the world

By 2nd place - 06/01/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I realized my wife named our newborn son after her ex-boyfriend. This wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't the abusive, cheating, womanizer ex that she originally described when we first met. To make things better, he was the one that eventually cut her off, not the other way around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 660

You deserved it 118

Such a nice guy

By Anonymous - 14/01/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, the only girl who likes me is a girl who is overweight and uses body acceptance as a reason to get mad at me for turning her down. Call me shallow but as someone who works out frequently, I don't want someone who douses herself with tattoos, thinking guys will fetishize her, instead of self-care. FML

I agree, your life sucks 660

You deserved it 588

Deserved it for the puns

By Anonymous - 27/10/2022 02:00

Today, if anyone was wondering how my day was going, I woke myself up by kicking the wall. HARD. Pretty sure I broke my big toe. 10/10, TOE-tally TOE-rrific. FML

I agree, your life sucks 660

You deserved it 249

Not happening

By Kape pa tayo! - 18/05/2025 15:00 - Philippines - Makati City

Today, my mom shoved a document for me to sign. It's pretty much my will, leaving everything to her boyfriend/fiancé's 11 year-old son, who is a bratty hell spawn of Satan. Before I could say anything, she said not to bother leaving anything to my adopted daughter, because she said if I die, she's going with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 660

You deserved it 76

It's a dangerous day for our little friend...

By FML Approved - 19/07/2017 18:54

It's National Hotdog Day!

I agree, your life sucks 660

You deserved it 204

Shut down

By Marriage is a lie - 06/04/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, my wife flat out refuses to have sex with me, ever. Most days it's "What have you done to earn sex?" then when I point out all I do (pay bills, work hard, take care of her, the kids and the house) it's, "Oh, so that means I owe you sex?" I even got that excuse on my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 660

You deserved it 177

Nope, not adding up

By Anonymous - 30/04/2023 10:00 - Canada - LaSalle

Today, I learned that my girlfriend prefered being fully under the blanket during our first time to avoid being cold and to save electricity. This would've been completely fine by me if she didn't have IBS. Done the math yet? FML

I agree, your life sucks 660

You deserved it 177

Gaming the system

By Anonymous - 13/06/2025 09:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, I can admit I was wrong for cheating but my psycho ass ex took her revenge too damn far. Instead of cheating back or going wild with her girlfriends or breaking up with me, she called the authorities on my parents and had them deported. FML

I agree, your life sucks 660

You deserved it 454

Buzzed

By Who needs sleep - 19/04/2025 15:00 - Netherlands

Today, my wife helped herself to an energy drink at 7pm, because she "felt tired", and yelled at me when I told her not to. All night, all I heard was, "Babe, I can't sleep. I'm restless. Talk to me. Babe, you're sleeping and I feel lonely. Hey babe what are you thinking about? What's going through your head?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 660

You deserved it 75

Dirty girl

By I like sex dirty but not THAT dirty! - 20/07/2024 20:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, my husband is upset because I’ve been turning him down when he tries to initiate sex as soon as I walk in the door. I work 12 hour shifts as an ER nurse and the thought of getting into bed without showering away all the day's germs repulses me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 660

You deserved it 181

I hate this

By Anonymous - 25/08/2023 10:00 - Australia

Today, I found out that other than having to deal with cramps, headaches, PMS, PMDD, and all the other crap that comes along with periods, that it's also not uncommon to have painful gas during that time. 5 days left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 659

You deserved it 117

I am hungry

By Hungry - 23/12/2019 01:00

Today, I thought my mother was coming into my room to give me lunch. She gave me cleaning supplies instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 659

You deserved it 3 187

When in doubt, blame everything on "woke"

By Anonymous - 01/02/2025 15:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, I walked into work, only to be greeted by the office asshole saying, “Whoa! You’re still here?! I thought for sure when Trump ended that DEI crap they wouldn’t let you keep your job. Welcome back I guess.” Can we say HR MEETING?! FML

I agree, your life sucks 659

You deserved it 204

By Zizisouriant - 02/02/2014 17:28 - France

Today, my hubby found it funny to draw a smiling face out of nail polish on his penis. He found it much less funny when I had to use nail polish remover to take it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 659

You deserved it 160

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The Top

Today, I went into my classroom to find a bag of shit on my desk with a note saying, "Thanks for failing me b*tch!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 237

You deserved it 7 531

Today, I was surfing the web for Halloween costumes, and found one labeled "Extreme Girl Nerd". With the wig, the glasses, and the buck-teeth, it looked exactly like me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 533

You deserved it 6 785

Today, I went to see a movie. After getting my seat, I went out to get food. Coming back, I saw the security guard. Thinking he would ask me for my ticket, I moved all the food to one hand to get the ticket in my pocket. I spilled it all. He didn't ask to see it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 163

You deserved it 16 624

Today, I was going on holiday. As I was checking in my bags, I said to the really cute steward, "I think I'm overweight." He told me about discounts for customers of 'larger proportions.' I was talking about my suitcase being overweight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 920

You deserved it 17 828

Today, my girlfriend asked me the details for al-Qaeda's plan during 9/11 for an essay. I had no idea and she said she just expected me to know, since I'm "one of those people." I'm Iranian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 211

You deserved it 272

Today, I met a boy on Snapchat. I sent him my picture and he said I was cute. We talked for a bit, and I said, "Okay" to something. Then he sent his picture, but my slow Wi-Fi made it look like I said okay to his picture, right after he'd called me cute. I tried to explain, but he said I was just trying to be nice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 178