Today, I finished writing my Masters thesis. It's 25,000 words long. I showed it to my tutor, who told me it was completely wrong and that I have to start again from scratch. It's due in two weeks. FML
The Top · The all-time greatest FMLs
n3rdzgotskillz tells us more.
Hi it's me! I'd totally have clicked YDI as well. My MA is only a year old at my university. It's the first year they're doing Creative Writing, so everything is still in beta mode. I picked my topic and basically wrote about what my tutor told me to. Unfortunately, due to miscommunication within the Creative Writing department, none of the lecturers were sure what I was supposed to be writing until about a month ago - so even though the research I'd done was what my tutor told me to, it's not the research I was supposed to. Thankfully, my lecturers have taken responsibility for giving me false information, and they've apologised to me and extended the deadline to the end of January. Also - I saw my tutor fortnightly and he always told me I was right on track! It just turns out I was on track with the wrong thing, haha.
Today, my boss threatened to fire me for killing him in Minecraft. FML
The old switcheroo
Today, I was unable to go on my dream vacation because I thought I'd lost my passport. Feeling incredibly stupid, I had no choice but to watch my plane depart without me. Shortly after, my brother handed me passport, saying that since I wasn't going on my trip, I could use my refund to pay for his cat's surgery. My trip was non-refundable. FML
For those who work in customer service, we salute you
Today, whilst at work, I was serving a customer when her kid ran up to me and threw up. It was a 10-hour shift, and I was one hour in. FML
Today, my girlfriend smelt my penis after I got back from the gym. She was making sure it didn't smell like latex. I can't even go to the gym without her thinking I'm cheating on her. FML
Fire hazard
Today, I was trying to cook a pizza for lunch at my in-laws. I preheated the oven and took my dog out to go potty. I come back in to find the house filled with smoke, the detector going off, and a fire in the oven. Apparently, my mother-in-law left a tray of glass candle holders in it. FML
Medicare for all!
Today, I'm so broke that I'm thinking about using a glass of whiskey and a pair of pliers to pull out my broken wisdom teeth. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store and this hot guy was staring at my ass, so I smiled at him. My mother noticed he was checking my ass out, and she approached him and said "I know she has a big ass, but it's rude to stare, son." FML
Creepy
Today, my dad told me that I can't wear leggings on Friday nights, because, "your butt is too distracting for my poker buddies." FML
JustClaire95 tells us more.
JustClaire95 13
I'll prob just wear jeans from now on. Though it'd be funny to see them react to a mini skirt lol!
Today, is my one day off for the week. My mother in law is visiting, and has decided we need to rearrange my living room. FML
Today, I moved into a new apartment. While moving boxes, I ran into my supervisor from work. Guess who lives across the hall. FML
Welcome to the neighborhood
Today, my dad made me deliver a welcoming cake to our new neighbors. While I was making small-talk, I saw him climb over their backyard fence. A minute later, he climbed back over, with a plastic deck-chair in hand. I feel like an accessory to the pettiest theft in history. FML
Today, my friend invited me to go on vacation with her and friends, saying we would all share a suite. I booked my flight. The trip is almost here and she now tells me there is no room for me and I have to get my own room. This is the second time she has done this. FML
star71075 tells us more.
star71075 12
OP here. Just to clarify a little, I have traveled with her multiple times and she has only done this once before. That is why I didn't question anything. Anyway, we have since talked it through and have worked everything out. I am still going and sharing her room.
Painful party trick
Today, I caught my idiot son with a pencil up his penis, because apparently he wanted to see if he could use it to write with as a party trick to impress girls. I demanded he take it out, which he did, but the rubber eraser stayed inside his penis. Now I’m spending my Sunday holding his hand in A&E. FML
Today, after my husband trusted me to sort out the arrangements for modifying our kitchen and I spent a lot of time finding the perfect top-quality items, they were delivered 1,291 miles away in a town I’ve never heard of. FML
Today, I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While at the checkout counter, my guy friend sees me, runs to me, puts his arm around me, kisses me on the cheek, then yells "Thank you baby!" There were about twenty people behind me, they all gave me dirty looks. FML
Today, I watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes. FML
Today, a completely drunk girl walked across the bar and punched me in the face because I was wearing the same dress as her, and her boyfriend had said it looked better on me. While I was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch, she puked all over me, wiped her mouth, and laughed before she passed out. FML
Back to reality
Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML
Today, I was helping a customer find some shoes. When I brought her a size, she got a phone call. I motioned to the shoes and mouthed, "Bigger size" so I didn't interrupt her. She yelled, "Give me a fucking minute," and stormed out. About 5 minutes later, I realized she'd stolen the shoes. FML
Saxicolous tells us more.
Saxicolous 27
Also, (not enough room to mention this in the FML) it wasn't a casual phone call, she was having a very heated (and obviously fake I realized afterwards) argument with some guy about how she was or was not just at some restaurant with another guy. She was screaming and cussing, the whole shabang! It was, in hindsight, a very effective distraction
Today, I was walking to the bus stop when someone slapped an innocent person in the face with a fish. I was that innocent person. FML
Today, my parents decided to visit me. When I first got my apartment I gave them a key "just in case" and today they used this key to enter when I didn't answer their knocking. I didn't answer because I was having sex with my boyfriend. My parents saw everything. They didn't know I was gay. FML
gorgeousrenthead tells us more.
i was *cough* receiving...
Today, my anxiety has gotten so bad that I start to panic every time someone even approaches me. I'm a cashier, and I'm only halfway through my shift. FML
PhantomKitty tells us more.
PhantomKitty 26
To clarify, I have been suffering from anxiety ever since I was a child. I used to not speak to people at all. I got this job as an attempt to break free of my anxiety. For the first nine months or so, it worked. I was much happier and could actually initiate conversations with people I didn't even know. Last year my grandfather was diagnosed with terminal cancer, and in December my mother nearly died. Since then my anxiety has been spiralling out of control. I realize that I should talk to someone and start on medication again, but I can't afford it, as I only make slightly more than minimum wage. I'm sure my family would help me, but I don't wish to bother them.
Today, I got pulled over by the cops for swerving a lot while driving. I tried to explain that my dog bit the back of my neck, but as soon as I opened my door to show him the bite marks and the dog, he ran out of the car. I still can't find him. FML
Today, I didn't put any makeup on my acne-ridden and newly sun-burnt face. Today was also the first time I've ever run into my crush outside of work, all while trying to parallel park in a car that hasn't been washed in 6 months. I hit the car behind me. FML
Creepypasta
Today, my ex-best friend, who I haven't spoken to in a year because of how obsessive she got, posted a picture of herself with dyed brown hair and glasses. We look like twins. Even I thought it was me. Some people are commenting that I look beautiful. School starts tomorrow. FML
Stealth dog
Today, while I was sitting in a waiting room to be seen, my service dog (who was tucked under the bench I was sitting) let out the most vile, silent but deadly fart. The person near me retched and heaved, and I got death glares while someone sprayed their old lady perfume to mask the smell. FML
Today, my contact split completely in half at a wedding. Not only did I interrupt the vows with my scream of pain, but I was only able to fish out half of it. FML
Fantasy world
Today, my husband and I were role playing to keep our marriage alive. His character was a deranged stalker while I was the helpless girl. My neighbor thought I was really being chased so she called the cops. Once they came we explained the whole story and got a fine for disturbing the peace. FML
Drifting like a ship with no captain
Today, our office had a mock audit before the real thing. I got warning note for not maintaining proper databases for last year's activities. I only joined a few months ago. FML