The Top

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Honest

By Anonymous - 04/09/2024 22:00 - Australia

Today, I had a job interview that I really wanted to nail. Everything was great until the interviewer asked me why I left my last job. I meant to say, "I felt it was time for a new challenge," but instead I said, "I felt tired of pretending to care." The look on their face was priceless. Needless to say, but I don't think I'll get the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 141

You deserved it 572

It's a cult

By Anonymous - 04/04/2026 12:00

Today, my wife decided to take from our savings and donate £500 to the church “for the starving people.” I wasn’t aware crooked priests were starving but hey ho, now she’s mad at me I cancelled the cheque since I would like to retire before I’m 80. FML

I agree, your life sucks 464

You deserved it 134

Shut down

By Marriage is a lie - 06/04/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, my wife flat out refuses to have sex with me, ever. Most days it's "What have you done to earn sex?" then when I point out all I do (pay bills, work hard, take care of her, the kids and the house) it's, "Oh, so that means I owe you sex?" I even got that excuse on my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 661

You deserved it 177

Steve McQueen would be ashamed

By thatsureshowedme - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I tried being rebellious for the first time in my life by sneaking out past my curfew. I tried to climb out of my bedroom window to stealthily leave the house. I ended up twisting my ankle when I tried to make my "great" escape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 240

You deserved it 30 943

Bum note

By Music Lover - 07/11/2020 14:01 - United States - San Jose

Today, after entering a conservatory of music, I've worked really hard on my academic subjects to past through the exam, so my major is pretty weak. After practising 6 hours a day for three weeks, my teacher asked me to change my major and said I'm the worst student she's ever seen. And there‘s nowhere I can go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 924

You deserved it 185

Noob

By Pete - 08/04/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I’m a gym newbie and finally worked up the nerve to use the squat rack. I loaded a very modest weight but still felt proud. Halfway through, I realized I’d set up directly in front of the mirror… backwards. I was basically doing awkward half-squats facing everyone else, and two people were politely trying not to laugh behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 316

You deserved it 100

Luck of the draw

By Jordan - 12/11/2020 11:02 - United States - Herndon

Today, I waited 3 hours and paid $360 to have a routine tuneup done on my old car. As I pulled into my driveway, about to turn off the engine, one of my headlights blew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 704

You deserved it 74

Brave move

By Anonymous - 12/09/2024 14:00

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by sending a GIF. Not a sad one either. It was a GIF of some dude disappearing into thin air. Ten out of ten for originality, but come on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 85

Portion control

By Anonymous - 13/04/2026 12:00 - United States - Fontana

Today, my wife refuses to acknowledge our kids’ weight problem. When I try, she claims bodyshaming. The last time we went to the park, one wouldn’t get off the bench, the other was too big for the slide, and our daughter got stuck in the swing. They were all so winded they couldn’t talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 506

You deserved it 114

I'm coming!

By Anonymous - 14/09/2024 22:00 - Denmark - Aarhus

Today, I was late for work so I ran to catch the bus. I made it. Unfortunately, the bus was actually out of service, and I just sprinted to a parked vehicle for no reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 128

You're welcome!

By Anonymous - 16/04/2026 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I saw a homeless woman and a young man wrapped in a blanket so I went to give them a fiver. Turns out the woman was just helping calm her autistic son by wrapping him up, and not homeless at all. She kicked me in the balls and took the money anyway while I was on the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 162

Best of luck

By Carson - 18/04/2026 03:00 - United States - Van Nuys

Today, I got an email from my ex after he ghosted me for 5 months with no specific cause. He told me he had been seeing someone else for 3 of the months he had ghosted me for. He ended up changing his number and everything. What a lovely way to spend your birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 66

Butt of the joke

By Dan - 18/09/2024 20:00 - Australia

Today, I found out my family doesn't actually use the secret codeword we've had since childhood for when we’re in trouble. They've just been saying it around me for years because they thought it was funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 105

Leave it to the specialists

By Anonymous - 21/04/2026 00:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I tried to fix a leaky pipe after watching a tutorial. I turned what I thought was the main valve to cut the water, loosened the pipe, and immediately got sprayed in the face. In my panic, I tightened it wrong and made it worse. I had to call a plumber while standing in a puddle, holding a towel against the pipe like that was helping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 134

You deserved it 325

Seek medical help

By Anonymous - 27/04/2026 12:00 - United States - Louisville

Today, I look five months pregnant, but alas I'm just full of shit. I wish I could poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 86

Introverts can relate

By Anonymous - 26/09/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, all that I wanted for my birthday was for someone else to pick out a cake flavor, and to spend the day alone. I've been asked ten times what kind of cake I want, and my husband took a off work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 191

You deserved it 456

Home Improvement

By coius - 29/11/2020 08:03 - United States - Lincoln

Today, our washing machine broke and dumped around 100 gallons onto the floor. My dad had installed crappy water valves and we couldn’t turn off the water. I called my dad and he accused me of lying. His “repairs” have now caused 5 major disasters in our home due to his shoddy and cheap work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 063

You deserved it 321

The value of labor

By Chad - 28/09/2024 20:00 - Belgium

Today, after working for over a decade at the same place, I was formally written up with two days of leave without pay for refusing to work extra overtime. I've been working over 80 hours a week for four months now and even cancelled some very important plans so I could work every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 551

You deserved it 92

Lonely, so lonely

By Anonymous - 01/12/2020 05:02

Today, after a nice Thanksgiving with my parents, and the usual question about when I'll bring a woman with me to meet them, I absentmindedly launched the usual dating app. I swiped completely dry with no matches, reminding myself that my entire city doesn't have one person interested in dating me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 763

You deserved it 1 116

You'll soon find out

By Anonymous - 07/05/2023 00:00

Today, I had some “me time” at my computer. I'm not quiet. Finished up only to discover that I was still signed into voice chat on my computer in a public server from a previous conversation with a friend. I don’t think anyone heard me, but what if they did? FML

I agree, your life sucks 198

You deserved it 1 186

Cats gonna be cats

By Philomena - 01/10/2024 00:00 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I wanted to show my friends my cat’s “high-five” trick. I held out my hand, and instead of a high-five, my cat scratched and bit me instead. I yelped, and my friends burst into laughter. I had to bandage my hand, all whilst they joked about “cat training.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 178

You deserved it 395

No politik here

By Lia - 04/05/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I just moved from New York and I started a new school with new people. Nobody wants to be my friend or talk to me because I’m Israeli and apparently I “participate in genocide and take Americans' tax money.” I've lived in America since I was 4 and haven’t done any of that, let alone go back to Israel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 541

You deserved it 126

Big Tony

By lordoftheweird - 06/05/2026 15:00 - Canada - Cranbrook

Today, my grandmother is upset I won't lie to the police for her and is now claiming that I'm involved in the Mafia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 61

Can't get enough of 'em

By Anonymous - 10/05/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, I ordered groceries online for pickup. Got home, unpacked everything, and only then noticed I had somehow ordered 12 cucumbers instead of 2. The receipt just said, “Quantity: 12” like that was a normal life choice. I'm gonna be having cucumbers with every meal for at least a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 141

You deserved it 309

Terms and conditions may apply

By Anonymous - 08/10/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I learned that if you lay your cellphone on the table at a restaurant, it is not their responsibility if the server pours coffee all over it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 290

You deserved it 368

Gender confusion

By Anonymous - 16/05/2026 20:00 - United States - Ashburn

Today, I went to the bathroom and thought, "Huh, why are there urinals in the girls' bathroom?", but I went into a stall, did my business, and left. There was no one around and when I walked past the bathroom again, there was a boys' bathroom sign. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 432

Ironic

By Anonymous - 12/12/2020 17:02 - United States

Today, on my way out to get salt for the driveway, I fell and split my head. I'm now sitting in the ER waiting room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 953

You deserved it 98

Happens to the best of us

By Anonymous - 13/10/2024 06:00 - United States - Akron

Today, I got ready for work half-asleep, grabbed my coffee, and walked out the door. It wasn’t until I was in the elevator that I realized I was also holding the TV remote instead of my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 199

Traumatic

By Give me freedom - 17/05/2026 22:00 - Canada - Montreal

Today, it's 2026, and my mom is still shit-scared of COVID and demands I wear a mask, slather on hand sanitizer, and just generally make an ass of myself everywhere I go. Being with her in public is so humiliating, she wears a face shield, two masks, and is equal parts Karen and Hitler. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 142

Bye then!

By Anonymous - 14/12/2020 01:57 - Mexico - Garza Garcia

Today, while on holiday. I got a call to let me know my job will be gone away when I return. FML

I agree, your life sucks 988

You deserved it 102

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The Top

Today, I was wrapping presents for my daughter, trying to be really quiet. Behind me, the cat decided to climb the tree, which then fell on top of me and I couldn't move. My daughter had to help me up. She now knows everything she's getting for Christmas this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 907

You deserved it 4 779

Today, I asked to change my major at the college I'm transferring to in the fall. Instead of letting me change my major, they withdrew my acceptance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 779

You deserved it 4 774

Today, I caught my dad stealing my money again, after I'd warned him he was on his last chance. I threw him out, since he’s been sleeping rough on my sofa. He reported me to the authorities for "elder abuse" and showed them fresh bruises I know the conniving old bastard gave himself. I was handcuffed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 996

You deserved it 97

Today, I realized that in order to get a girl, I have to lose 100lbs and/or get facial reconstruction. If I meet a girl, we get close, I do everything to make her happy, only to be told, “I only like you as a friend.” I also get told that I’d make a “great boyfriend” yet they don’t choose me. Being overlooked sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 355

Today, I twisted my left ankle while walking back home because there was a hole that I couldn't see, because grass covered it up like a pitfall trap. Did I mention 25 years earlier I twisted my right ankle (twice)? I just hurt my only fully functioning foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 99

Today, I woke up in jail. Apparently I incorrectly recited the alphabet, complete with singing “Now I know my ABC’s, won’t you come and play with me…” during a sobriety test. I wasn’t driving. I don’t even own a car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 162

You deserved it 324