The Top · The all-time greatest FMLs

Anonymous · 25 September 2026, 12:00 ·Brisbane, Australia

No means no thanks

Today, I found out that my partner of 18 years has officially decided that our physical relationship is over. We hadn’t been intimate since my youngest was conceived 5 years ago. I had always held out hope that it would come again, but now I have been told it’s over and I’m at a loss at what to do. I still love her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400 You deserved it 96

4 comments Share

Anonymous · 26 March 2021, 08:01 ·Randolph, United States

OK Shaggy

Today, I was pumping gas at a gas station. An attractive woman walked by and the guy pumping gas behind me did a whistle/catcall to her. She then looked at me and gave me a disgusted look. I didn't even try to hit on a girl, and still got rejected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 972 You deserved it 128

4 comments Share

Tang · 6 September 2023, 10:00 🌶️ Spicy

Where did it all go wrong?

Today, my last 2 ex-girlfriends, who each left me for someone else, are either travelling the world, own multiple online shops, and both are drop dead gorgeous. I have to work a full-time job while my health deteriorates from stress, bills pile up, and having been sexless for two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 472 You deserved it 220

3 comments Share

beccaboo_96 · 18 February 2025, 09:00 ·San Antonio, United States

Why weren't we invited?

Today, and since Valentine's Day when we got married at the courthouse, which was supposed to be a secret but my husband and I ended up on the news, we've been getting several calls from family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390 You deserved it 194

2 comments Share

Anonymous · 27 September 2026, 12:00 ·United States

Panic!

Today, since my phone had two eSIM cards, I decided to activate the second one. No harm no foul, right? But then I realized having two with the same number was redundant and turned it off. That disconnected my cellphone data, causing me to fly into a panic. It took 30 minutes with customer service to fix my mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86 You deserved it 361

0 comment Share

Why her and not me though · 8 September 2023, 06:00

Crazy stalker vibes

Today, I saw the guy I was seeing four months ago, who lives in another state, hand in hand with a girl at the mall. The same one who told me he "doesn’t do long distance." I went up to them, confronted him about it, and demanded to know why her and not me. He pretended not to know me and threatened to call security. FML

I agree, your life sucks 244 You deserved it 981

8 comments Share

Anonymous · 30 September 2026, 00:00 ·Portugal

BIKES!

Today, I came down hard on the top bar of my bike, and crunched my balls. I felt sick almost immediately, and by the time I got home I was still nauseous, tender, uncomfortable, and very relieved to finally be able to rest with an ice pack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 306 You deserved it 96

0 comment Share

Mike · 25 March 2021, 00:30

Tears for Fears

Today, I realized that not only do I dream about sleeping or passing out, but that those are the best ones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 685 You deserved it 103

2 comments Share

H · 2 October 2026, 03:00 ·Phoenix, United States

College reunion

Today, I ran into my middle school crush in college. He said he found my public art account and saw my drawings from middle school on there. Except I made that account in high school and the drawings on there are all recent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 252 You deserved it 100

0 comment Share

Anonymous · 5 October 2026, 03:00 ·United States

She'll be back

Today, I told my girlfriend that I think the concept of marriage is ridiculous and that it’s just being boyfriend/girlfriend with a fancier title. She packed all her things and moved out immediately. Now I can’t afford rent without her and have no idea what I’m going to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113 You deserved it 844

5 comments Share

Anonymous · 24 May 2022, 22:00

Doggy dog world

Today, I was standing at our fence welcoming our new neighbors as they moved in. My 85-pound boxer thought it would be a good idea to start sprinting along the fence line so their dog would join in. He crashed into my right knee at full speed. I now have a sprained and/or torn MCL and PCL. FML

I agree, your life sucks 861 You deserved it 178

1 comment Share

Anonymous · 9 October 2026, 09:00 ·United Kingdom

A knight's fail

Today, my boys fight a lot, and I watched as one of them revealed he bought a frigging knight's shield to protect himself, so his brother punched the shield, which flew backwards, hit him in the mouth and broke a tooth. I could not make this up if I tried. JUST GET ALONG ALREADY! FML

I agree, your life sucks 148 You deserved it 249

1 comment Share

TheMadKian · 17 September 2023, 10:00

Put some steel toe boots on

Today, I went to shut the door and ended up banging my toe on my guitar stand; then, as I was getting a snack out of a closet, I banged my toe again on the drawer and now I can't walk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 458 You deserved it 278

2 comments Share

Anonymous · 11 October 2026, 15:00 ·United States

Love me do

Today, my husband complained that the kids are more attached to me than they are to him. Let’s see: I do all the housework, school activities, doctor and dentist appointments, extracurriculars, and cook dinner every night. What does he do? He works so he thinks we should all exalt him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323 You deserved it 138

2 comments Share

Anonymous · 28 May 2022, 00:00

SAT down

Today, my daughter was unable to take the SAT. They wouldn’t let her in, because, “no one told her she would need two forms of ID.” To be fair, she would have gotten a terrible score anyway, if she’s really that dumb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347 You deserved it 882

9 comments Share

Anonymous · 15 October 2026, 20:00 ·United States

No good deed…

Today, I offered to drive my friends to the airport because their taxi was expensive. We left early and arrived with plenty of time. Then I realized I’d parked in the short-stay car park. I paid more for parking than I would have paid for a taxi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115 You deserved it 299

0 comment Share

NeverCheckOnFamily · 4 June 2022, 04:00 ·United States

Don't print this FML

Today, I checked on an uncle following his surgery. I got a two-hour monologue of how the internet doesn't really save paper, because he has to print the bills and receipts, plus pay for ink and staples, and that utility companies are really just shifting costs to the consumer by going "paperless". FML

I agree, your life sucks 803 You deserved it 178

4 comments Share

Anonymous · 25 September 2023, 05:00 ·Australia

Number one or number two?

Today, I found out that the myth about what happens when you dream you're going to the toilet is not entirely untrue. At least for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 604 You deserved it 89

3 comments Share

Anonymous · 13 March 2025, 12:00 ·Thousand Oaks, United States

Custom job

Today, my toddler threw up on my one week old pair of white shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 314 You deserved it 226

1 comment Share

Anonymous · 20 October 2026, 22:00 ·United Kingdom

Little brat

Today, I was in hospital after surgery when someone’s little brat came wandering into my room like a mini hurricane and all I could do was lie there trying desperately to call for a nurse as he ate my snacks, knocked over my books, went through my bag, etc. If I can sue his parents, I will. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448 You deserved it 71

3 comments Share

Anonymous · 23 October 2026, 03:00 ·Canada

Small town

Today, I found out that my dad has a massive number of kids he doesn't know about, some of them have hooked up, and it is a serious possibility that I've slept with one of my half-sisters unintentionally. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394 You deserved it 87

3 comments Share

anonymous · 19 October 2009, 19:16 ·United States

Pissed

Today, I drove 100 miles from my parents' house to mine. I had only a few miles left when I realized I really had to pee. I didn't want to pull over somewhere when I was so close to home, so I sped up. A cop pulled me over a block from my house. I started to sob, and ended up peeing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 284 You deserved it 15 478

68 comments Share

Anonymous · 25 October 2026, 03:00 ·Irving, United States

Justified?

Today, my boyfriend was arrested and might go to prison because he shot the guy who tried to kidnap his dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386 You deserved it 79

0 comment Share

Bradley Earl · 1 April 2025, 12:00 ·Lansing, United States

Wait, what?

Today, my girlfriend was a mystic and I'd told her not to use FML because it seemed negative. I think it feels controlling and I don't want that. I also deleted a file that was about fear of her husband dying because she lost her dad. I wish I could go back and be on FML too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 You deserved it 479

9 comments Share

Anonymous · 27 October 2026, 15:00 ·Warren, United States

Brain fart self report

Today, I had my first ever mega brain fart. I was watching videos on YouTube when I noticed strange music playing. I paused the video and the music played on. When I turned the app off, I realized the music was coming from the TV, which I had on at the same time in case ads came up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 You deserved it 288

0 comment Share

orourkeda · 14 April 2021, 11:00 ·Dublin, Ireland

Bad day #74746

Today, I sharted in work this morning. It was rather unpleasant and everyone around me knew what had happened. The embarrassment was stifling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 959 You deserved it 192

1 comment Share

Anonymous · 22 March 2025, 15:00 ·Barnsley, United Kingdom

Streaker alert!

Today, I was walking through a park when I saw someone running toward me. I thought he was jogging but quickly realized he was wearing nothing other than a grin. As he passed me, he yelled, “I’m freeeee!” I’m still trying to figure out why that was the moment I decided to take a sip of my coffee, because the shock made it come out of my nostrils. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372 You deserved it 96

1 comment Share

Anonymous · 28 October 2026, 22:00 ·United Kingdom

Prudish

Today, my mother-in-law went ballistic for me letting my kids watch the Ladybug and Cat Noir movie, because there is one black spot on Ladybug's costume positioned to look like a patch of pubic hair, and is therefore inappropriate for children. It’s a cartoon about superheroes, FFS. FML

I agree, your life sucks 318 You deserved it 53

4 comments Share

Do I Smell Bad Or Something? · 2 July 2022, 10:00

Winding me up

Today, I got a phone call from the psychiatrist I had an appointment with next week, telling me that they need to postpone, and the next available session is in three months. This is the fourth time this has happened to me in the last year, with the third doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 897 You deserved it 79

3 comments Share

Anonymous · 3 October 2023, 06:00 ·Greenville, United States

There there

Today, after I dated a girl for 4 years and she'd left me for another man, she came back about a week later bawling on my bathroom floor. I comforted and held her, thinking she may have realized she'd made a mistake, only for her to say how much she loved him the whole time. I hate myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 748 You deserved it 392

4 comments Share