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Too much irony

By Anonymous - 30/03/2021 11:00

Today, I tried to schedule a counseling appointment so I could vent about the lack of quality control in software. The online scheduler said to call. The secretary scheduled my appointment then said the system would send an email with the appointment link. The email did not contain any links. FML

I agree, your life sucks 827

You deserved it 118

Just like starting over

By Folding money - 12/09/2023 05:00 - United States

Today, I was at Aldi when I realized I'd left my wallet at home. I tried to convince the cashier to let me pay with an IOU, but they just gave me a skeptical look and said, "This isn't the 1880s, dude." I had to leave my cart of groceries and walk out empty-handed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 1 587

Practicality

By Nicole C - 25/02/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, my long-distance boyfriend of 2 years left me for another girl he’s known for 3 months, just because she’s closer. Never mind that I was the one who remained faithful to him for 2 long years, got him through the deaths of his parents, gave him money when he fell on hard times, among other things. FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 155

Misophonist or misogynist?

By Knot in my throat - 12/09/2023 00:02

Today, my boyfriend said to me, in front of his friends, “Can you stop breaking out into song all the time? It’s getting really annoying.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 305

You deserved it 898

No one will notice

By Anonymous - 16/06/2022 10:00

Today, my girlfriend asked me to straighten her hair while she did her makeup, even though I’ve never straightened hair before. I burned a length of it off, because I had no idea what I was doing. It’s super obvious from the back, but she’s gone out already. I’m a dead man when she gets home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 848

You deserved it 512

It seems like it's only going to get worse

By Kareen N - 02/03/2025 15:00 - United States - Kansas City

Today, I'm suffering with an acute and weird form of misophonia. I get irrationally triggered and angry whenever I hear someone say words and phrases like, "at a level that nobody's ever seen before", "radical left", "like you wouldn't believe", "nobody’s ever seen anything like it", and "drill baby drill." I need professional help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 243

You deserved it 465

Knock first!

By Anonymous - 19/09/2023 06:00

Today, I needed to ask my mom for something, so I went to her room without knocking and walked in on her and her boyfriend fucking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 147

You deserved it 1 016

The hangover from hell

By jeannie - 20/09/2023 14:00 - Canada - Montréal

Today, slightly drunk from a head-frazzle of a night out from hell, I sent a text meant for my friend recounting the terrible date I'd just been on… to the date himself. He replied with, "I know, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 935

Thirst post

By No luck - 22/09/2023 20:00 - United States

Today, it’s been so long since I’ve had sex I’m seriously considering hiring a professional if you catch my drift. I try to put myself out there but I’m so self-conscious about my mastectomy scars that the thought of anyone seeing me naked sends me into a heaving sobbing anxiety attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 683

You deserved it 150

Fixed it

By Own goal - 11/03/2025 09:00 - Netherlands

Today, my fiance finally began seeing a therapist, after months of my begging him to. The therapist convinced him that he and I had "irreconcilable differences" so now he's asked for the ring back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 229

Wait, what?

By Anonymous - 13/03/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I was invited to a friend's wedding. When I got there, I was surprised to see that it was a surprise wedding, meaning I wasn’t invited at all. I stood there awkwardly for an hour, until the bride's mother finally noticed me and whispered, "You're not on the guest list, are you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 111

Time to move on

By Anonymous - 27/09/2023 00:02

Today, I found out my ex is getting married. She only left me 8 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 665

You deserved it 160

The Ministry of Silly Walks

By Anonymous - 07/06/2022 14:00 - Canada

Today, I was crossing the street and did a full on faceplant. The reason? I pinched a nerve in my foot a couple of days ago, and now it’s completely useless. It’s like walking around with a dead foot. I think I’d be better off hopping on one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 833

You deserved it 134

Hazy day

By Laurence - 18/03/2025 22:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my alarm went off, and in my half-asleep state, I grabbed my phone and snoozed it. When I woke up an hour later, I realized I'd actually snoozed my work email notification for the same amount of time, and my boss was emailing me every five minutes, asking where I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 181

You deserved it 434

Let's get it on

By chief623 - 01/10/2023 22:00 - United States - Ashland

Today, I showered with my wife for the first time in months, so I was excited. Once we got in, she was adjusting the temperature to something more comfortable. She then turned around and tell me to suck in my gut. After I did so, I slipped and ate shit, smacking my head on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 520

You deserved it 144

Trust

By No, I've never cheated - 20/03/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I found out just how bad my boyfriend's trust issues are, thanks to him being cheated on in the past. He actually had the nerve to ask his 6 year-old son if I had any other men come over while he was at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 135

Heat of the moment

By Anonymous - 23/03/2025 20:00 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, I went to my girlfriend's place to have a study session. Her dad was on a business trip but her mom was at home. We studied for about two hours, then we started getting frisky and started undressing and soon started fucking. We were about 20 minutes in when her mom came in and chased me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 124

You deserved it 576

Cute kitty

By Anonymous - 24/03/2025 22:00 - Australia

Today, after I'd ordered a cute dress online for an upcoming date, I tried it on, only to realise it was more of a glorified napkin than a dress. The tag online had said “One size fits all.” I now have a dress that fits my cat better than it fits me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 172

Living conditions

By Tal - 03/07/2022 10:00

Today, my brother said he could no longer tolerate living with me. He’s a sex offender on parole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 054

You deserved it 232

One lonely Stanley cup

By Anonymous - 29/03/2025 03:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, my kids refused to wake up on time, and I was at least 30-45 minutes late to work. Oh, and I forgot to bring my coffee to work. The travel thermos is still sitting on the kitchen counter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 269

You deserved it 350

Rabbit hole

By Anonymous - 17/06/2022 00:00 - United States - Big Lake

Today, after falling down an incredibly expansive DNA test rabbit hole, I found out that my first girlfriend was actually related to me. I can’t believe I’ve lived what I always thought was a disgusting and unrealistic porn trope: teen lesbian incest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 963

You deserved it 296

So, the thing is…

By Hailee - 30/03/2025 15:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I woke up to dozens of messages from friends and family, all asking about a video of me saying something awful. It wasn’t me. It was AI. But try explaining that to my grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 76

To the top

By Anonymous - 08/07/2022 22:00

Today, my brother and I work for the same company, I’ve been here longer, but he got promoted first and has a higher salary. At first I was afraid he was just better than me, so imagine my relief to discover he’s still an idiot, but he’s just been dicking our manager on the regular. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 352

You deserved it 131

Selfie Privilege = Revoked

By FML Approved - 06/09/2017 03:28

Tsk tsk tsk...

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 719

Great presentation!

By Sarah - 08/04/2025 00:00 - Australia

Today, I wore a new pair of heels to an interview. Halfway through, as they were showing me around the production floor, one of my heels snapped. I was forced to finish the interview wobbling on one heel like a drunk flamingo. I wasn’t offered the job, but they did say, “You have great balance.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 445

You deserved it 106

Ants and aunts

By Ante Up - 10/07/2022 00:00 - United States

Today, I had to deal with both ants and aunts. It was my great aunt's burial, and so I had to deal with my OTHER great aunt, who is a judgmental Karen. Later on, I tried to get a snack from the pantry. There were ants crawling everywhere, which I didn't realize until I almost ate an ant-infested pop tart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 854

You deserved it 181

A bit rich

By Anonymous - 12/04/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, it's been months that my mom has owed me $174, and every time I ask she tells me she's too poor to pay me back. Girly bought an entire 180k dollar farm with my grandparents the day after I asked (also the money was used for gas, and she guilt tripped me into giving it to her). FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 108

By Cat vs. Dog - 28/04/2014 21:03 - United States - Laramie

Today, my escape artist of a dog got out. She not only chased someone else's cat into someone else's house, but promptly defecated all over their living room floor out of excitement. That's one way to meet the new neighbors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 211

You deserved it 5 075

Long long long

By Anonymous - 21/10/2023 14:00

Today, I had to turn down a job offer that would have been perfect for me because post-Covid fatigue syndrome is kicking my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 635

You deserved it 264

Sailing close the wind

By FvckMenSmh - 25/07/2022 14:00

Today, what was supposed to be the happiest day of my life, my wedding day, turned into the day in hell. A friend caught my now ex kissing his friend outside. The girl he told me was “just a friend and nothing more” whenever I suspected there was indeed nothing more. Now I've found out in the worst way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 221

You deserved it 108

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The Top

Today, I found out that my boyfriend paid a guy to tell me he was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 118

You deserved it 6 264

Today, I went to egg my ex-boyfriend's house, after finding out he cheated on me. I covered his house and car with eggs, toilet paper, and silly string. When I went to get back in my car, my keys were locked inside, the alarm went off, and my ex walked outside, with his new girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 855

You deserved it 56 846

Today, I cut myself on a band-aid box, while trying to get one out for another cut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 003

You deserved it 8 246

Today, I was visited by a high school friend who lives in another state. She was furious because I got married a few months ago, and she kinda had feelings for me. I had to ask her to leave. Here's the funny thing: she's been married for 4 years and they have a son, and she didn't even invite me to her wedding back then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 543

You deserved it 68

Today, I don't know, I guess I'm just tired. Like everything I have done has been for nothing. Yet I can't seem to quit, it's like this is what I was meant for, to just suffer, I had absolutely nothing to do on a Thursday, All I do is go to the gym and come home, and just watch the paint dry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 267

You deserved it 262

Today, while on my usual jogging trail, a man stopped to give me some weird spreadsheet. On it was my whole schedule, with days I’d missed, what I was wearing, and how much my time was improving, along with some tips. I threw the papers and ran for my life. I’m too terrified to ever go back there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 690

You deserved it 85