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By MissNoFuture - 20/06/2011 07:13 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he's been having doubts, but he still wants to stay with me. I asked him why he had been so nervous about us and he replied, "I don't know, just thinking about a future with you makes me feel nauseous". We've been together over 2 years now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 196

You deserved it 4 056

First dates suck

By Anonymous - 03/09/2019 16:00

Today, I went on two dates from a dating app. The first one said halfway through that we couldn't date because it would break his contract. The second one catfished me. This is why I have multiple dates in one day. They never end well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 554

You deserved it 308

False alarm

By Anonymous - 13/10/2023 06:30

Today, my uncle called me at work, telling me to rush him to the doctor's. I get home and he doesn't"t want to go anywhere. He says he has the chills, so I turn on the furnace. Next he says he's too hot, and stripped to his underwear. I ask him to let me take him to doctor. He does nothing. Work is expecting me to bring a doctor's note tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 681

You deserved it 132

Cheeky bastard

By Anonymous - 06/04/2025 20:00 - United States - Corona

Today, working as a massage therapist at a spa, I had a male client proposition me for “special services.” I declined and ended the session. He got angry and told the front desk that I offered him favors. Now I’m suspended while management investigates, when really it’s just his word against mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 432

You deserved it 83

By Anonymous - 19/06/2011 05:01 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by putting a Post-it note on my locker that said, "Consider yourself dumped." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 853

You deserved it 4 687

Call the cops

By Anonymous - 16/10/2023 09:00

Today, my ex friend turned half the school against me, saying I stole and damaged her phone, both lies. Things escalated and she threatened to jump me if I didn't apologize. I apologized but now she's making me pay money for something I didn't do, and I'm seriously considering a restraining order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 780

You deserved it 191

By illiterate - 17/06/2011 04:16 - Australia

Today, my boss gave me an "All You Need to Know About Grammar" type book. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 226

You deserved it 33 027

I know an old lady…

By Anonymous - 14/07/2022 12:00 - Australia

Today, I was prescribed medication to treat the headaches, caused by the medication to treat the lethargy, caused by the medication to treat my crippling nerve pain, without which I'd be stuck in a wheelchair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 045

You deserved it 104

Irony stress

By Anonymous - 02/07/2022 06:00

Today, someone stole my Amazon delivery of stress balls from my apartment’s mail room. Now I’m more stressed than before about my stuff getting stolen, and have no stress ball to help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 131

Stalkerish

By Anonymous - 15/04/2025 09:00 - United States - New York

Today, I was trying to take a sneaky picture of the cute guy sitting across from me on the train. My phone’s flash went off. I panicked, dropped my phone, and then had to awkwardly stand up to retrieve it while he just stared at me, clearly aware of what had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46

You deserved it 734

Bad timing

By Frankie - 05/05/2021 00:01

Today, the company where I used to work at announced that there would be a staff reduction because of the low income caused by the pandemic. I just quit yesterday in favor of another job. All of my former workmates are getting paid their respective settlements because of this termination, while I'm not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 740

You deserved it 831

Kinda sus

By Anonymous - 24/10/2023 18:00

Today, I walked into a concert that I've been waiting months for. Immediately after passing through the doors, I was accused of sneaking in and thrown out. They wouldn't even look at my ticket, or the hand stamp they'd given me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 815

You deserved it 89

Pleased to meet you

By Holls - 12/04/2012 13:47 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I met a guy while out with some friends. He kept blowing up his cheeks, so I did it back to him and asked him why he did it. He pulled out a card from his wallet and pointed at it. It was a card saying he may have speech or facial difficulties because he had a stroke when he was 12. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 915

You deserved it 14 203

By lauren555 - 27/03/2009 03:38 - United States

Today, after finishing a huge French essay, I realized my printer wasn't working. So, I emailed it to a guy in my class to print and then give to me. When I get to French, he said he had already turned his in early and never got my email. It turned out he used mine. I got an F on the essay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 956

You deserved it 18 342

A bunch of ghosts did it!

By Anonymous - 26/10/2023 00:02

Today, I spent hours decorating my front yard for Halloween. When I stepped back to admire my work, the wind blew all the decorations into my neighbor's yard. Of course, they're currently away on a long vacation and I can't get to my stuff, so… you're welcome, I guess! FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 552

Added flavor

By Toothless - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was eating ice cream and struggling to chew a particularly hard chunk of chocolate. After finally breaking it into pieces, I spat it out because it tasted terrible. Then I discovered that I was missing my temporary crown. Now I have no upper molar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 533

You deserved it 6 513

Communication Breakdown

By not negative just real - 17/07/2022 18:00 - United States

Today, I’m still on bed rest recovering from life-altering surgery. My pain is unreal but the pills make me nauseous or knock me out cold. When I try to express what I’m going through, all anyone tries to do is cheer me up without listening. I just want someone to understand what I’m going through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003

You deserved it 195

Unhappy birthday

By gaah! - 09/07/2022 00:00

Today, it's my birthday. My spouse got into a fight, ending a relationship with a friend. They're laying around, unable to move due to panic attacks. I'm exhausted from being dragged unwillingly into things. The birthday messages feel like a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 793

You deserved it 154

Leaking from everywhere

By Anonymous - 28/04/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I woke up bleeding from every orifice in my body. I've got a nose bleed from my medication, my gums bled when I brushed my teeth, I'm on my period, and I have hemorrhoids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 520

You deserved it 89

Stalling

By Anonymous - 04/10/2009 02:56 - United States

Today, I was trying on dresses in a stall that requires an employee of the store to have a key to open. After I took off one dress to go to another, an employee quickly opens my door, to give the stall to someone else. The entire store could see me in my granny panties and bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 077

You deserved it 6 554

By Ihatemyjob - 18/03/2013 03:14 - United States - Vermilion

Today, at work, I walked in on a disoriented elderly woman eating nachos and cheese off the bathroom floor. She wasn't wearing any pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 662

You deserved it 3 133

By Doubleyew1 - 02/08/2010 23:43 - United States

Today, the cute guy I met on Halloween finally decided to meet up with me after almost 10 months of phone calls, IM, and emails. He was noticeably disappointed and said I looked different. On Halloween I had full face zombie makeup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 455

You deserved it 4 903

By King_of_hearts - 04/04/2014 23:46 - United States - Plymouth

Today, my phone rang just seconds after I left a conference meeting to go use the restroom. It wouldn't have been a problem, except it seems one of my friends thought it would be funny to change my ringtone to a woman having an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 670

You deserved it 4 842

By nitroman64 - 30/07/2010 23:40 - United States

Today, I was visiting my girlfriend at her house. We heard the door bell ring. She told me to jump out the window thinking it was her dad. I jumped, landed wrong, and got hurt. It turns out we were ding-dong-ditched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 884

You deserved it 28 321

By GetMoney - 01/10/2009 01:22 - United States

Today, I realized that 6 months ago I signed up for a 3 day trial for a porn website that turns into a $30 membership after 3 days. I completely forgot the day after and never viewed it. I've spent $180 so far. And I can't remember my password. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 385

You deserved it 66 302

By Anonymous - 12/03/2013 05:19 - United States

Today, I tried to go to my Hotmail account on my boyfriend's computer. When I typed in "hot", a big history list came down. It was all "Hot single mom looking for a good lay" Craigslist ads. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 645

You deserved it 4 146

You have mail!

By Anonymous - 21/05/2021 04:01

Today, I bought a Plan B at CVS. I always use my parents' phone number for reward points. Turns out my mom is enrolled in digital receipts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 477

You deserved it 1 452

Thanks, I hate it!

By leah12 - 18/03/2009 21:47 - United States

Today, I received a letter in the mail from my Grandma about how much she adores and loves me. Then it went into detail about how much prettier, smarter, and successful I am than my sister, Leah. I'm Leah. She'd put the letters into the wrong envelopes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 673

You deserved it 3 556

Congratulations, you played yourself

By OoopsieDaisee - 15/11/2023 20:00

Today, my boyfriend asked me to look up something on his phone. I jokingly asked him, “You’re not worried about me discovering your side bitches?” He got upset and angrily said he didn’t have any. I took his defensiveness as an indication of guilt and dumped him. Turns out he was right, he didn’t have side chicks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69

You deserved it 1 743

By whaaaaat111 - 09/03/2013 12:04 - United States - Vienna

Today, while at the mall, a lady dropped her credit card while in line to buy something. I came over, picked it up and gave it to her just for her to shove it in my hand and scream, "She's stealing my wallet! My wallet!" The police came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 732

You deserved it 2 773

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He wants us to stay friends, though, so he can continue to use my coffee maker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 204

You deserved it 4 724

Today, I played Angry Birds for two hours. I got so into the game, I failed to remember that I was sitting on a public toilet. I only realized this when the janitor came to check on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 065

You deserved it 52 987

Today, while helping my aunts with a garage sale, I sold a relish tray that looked like my mothers. When I put stuff away, I found items of my mothers tagged. Turns out, instead of holding onto my dead mother's items for me until I can store them, they've been selling them at discount prices. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 272

You deserved it 3 059

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I felt something tickling my neck. Thinking it was him, I ignored it. Just when I was about to climax, I looked down to see a lizard on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 045

You deserved it 259

Today, while playing cards, me and my boyfriend were getting super competitive and started wagering sexual stuff. His first and only choice: anal. Why only anal? All the time anal, there’s hundreds of other things to try, why do men always go straight to anal? It’s gets boring after a while. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 236

Today, I had to tell my daughter that she can't go on the cruise with her cousins because she has strep throat. She's been raging and screaming and crying for hours, even accusing us of deliberately making her sick. My heart is just shattered and I don't know how to deal with this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 94