Today, a patient at the hospital I work at had a tracheal tube and couldn't speak. I'm unable to read lips, but I'm pretty sure he was mouthing the words "Stupid bitch" every time I tried to stop him from pulling out his IV. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was treating a patient at the hospital where I'm a dentist. This particular gentleman was old and slightly deaf. After completing the procedure I gestured to the spitoon and asked him to spit. He got up, steadied himself, and spat straight in my face. FML
Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML
Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML
Today, while working at a hospital, I told a patient to smile for the camera when taking an xray. His response was, "I have Bell's Palsy and haven't smiled in 5 years." FML
Today, as if to prove that there is no end to the unspeakable stupidity of the human race, a patient was brought into my hospital, needing a cellphone removed from his anus. FML
Today, I had a dentist appointment in which a nurse numbed my mouth. After coming home, I took a nap in which I unknowing bit through my top lip. I physically can't speak. FML
Today, while working for a hospital security company, I had to assist in restraining a male patient while the nurses put a catheter in him. All I will say is that it looked like a worm trying to swallow a straw. FML
Today, I went to the dentist. My dentist kept talking to me while his hands were in my mouth. I attempted to tell him that it was difficult and dangerous to respond. My talking made him slip and slice my mouth open with one of his instruments. FML
Today, I was working at the hospital and it was very busy. Unthinking, I told a patient in a wheelchair to "sit tight" while I checked on something. He mocked me for the rest of his stay. FML
Today, at the dentist, I was trying to make myself comfortable while he did his thing to my teeth. While my mouth was full of tools, he asked, “So how’s your day going so far?” My reply came out as, “Mrrgh purr blobby noff nay blobby blobby.” The dentist laughed and said, “I was kidding, you’re not supposed to talk right now.” FML
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Top comments
fadingaway 17
You're not a stupid bitch for doing your job.
Brittneyyyy 7
Pull out his tracheal tube and then see what he says.
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Comments (64)
fadingaway 17
You're not a stupid bitch for doing your job.
I_R_Genius 3
Lol just put some morphine in his IV and he'll be good to go. Or better yet, just give him a sedaitive and make him go sleepy time.
unfortunate_13 5
the patient has a tracheal tube, so he's most likely at the intensive care unit. the patients there are most of the time so confused and sedated by the drugs, that they don't understand the situation they're in and act funny/strange or tell weird things, in this case, trying to get the tube out. also, most patients that have been on the ICU don't remember a lot from the time they spent there (because of the high doses of drugs for example), so he probably won't even realize he called you a bitch. get over it and know your job.
JaydnGage 0
She musn't be doing her job very well if she's only "trying" to stop him pulling out his IV and not succeeding.
IHeartJimi02 0
Even when you are doing your job, some patients are very quick. All you have to do is turn your head for a second and they can yank on it. There are other units in hospitals that have people with trach tubes, not just Intensive Care
didoca 0
I think he was saying "stop it please" the mouth moves similarly... maybe :/
babygrrl257 11
Loving the way you said that. Sleepy time. Hah
sikkar 0
Customer is always right!
michael15286 0
lmao
michabailey 8
Nope -- http://www.notalwaysright.com. Nuff said.
JodeMiVida 13
They aren't a customer anyway...
jimmatallman 0
Ye agreed ydi op
TengoCojones 0
lol
nayeli760 0
FYL
Brittneyyyy 7
Pull out his tracheal tube and then see what he says.
mintcar 10
Hahahaha, the mental image of this situation is hilarious.
alwa7sh 2
Tell him "stop calling me bich bastered no body would take care of you with that foul tube", he can't reply anyway.
FYLDeep 26
So who cares? It's better than having to listen to him bitch at you.
kdizzle58 1
soo I'd be pretty grumpy to, it's your job blow it off and move to the next person not every one is a happy camper!:p
maybaybe 0
At least you couldn't actually hear him.