The Top · The all-time greatest FMLs

Selective Seatbelt Struggle · 1 December 2022, 10:00

Thanks Officer

Today, I tried to put my seatbelt on. For some reason, it absolutely refused to click. I got frustrated, gave up, and just went on without it. I then got pulled over for not wearing it. I said to the officer, "Stupid question: can you TRY to put my seatbelt on?" He did. With no trouble. What did I do different? FML

I agree, your life sucks 266 You deserved it 952

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ThunderTh0t · 17 September 2021, 05:00 ·Australia

Great name

Today, I forgot that I gave my Bluetooth speaker a ridiculous device name as a joke when I'd first got it. It's all fun and games until you're around your family and they see the device name "ScoobyDooCumMilk" and are trying to figure out whose device it is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 275 You deserved it 1 199

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Anonymous · 20 September 2021, 02:00 ·United Kingdom

Pay up

Today, I tripped and hit my head on a rock, perforating my eardrum. That rock also broke. It was a €3000 headstone I now have to pay for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 956 You deserved it 146

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kinwar · 27 September 2021, 14:01 ·Hamburg, United States

Go big or go home

Today, I sneezed and peed myself while working out at the gym. FML

I agree, your life sucks 933 You deserved it 133

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Worriedashell · 13 December 2022, 12:00

Bad omen

Today, my husband said he was going to get errands. According to his job’s Instagram page which I follow, he was actually at his work Christmas formal. He never invited me. That’s not all. I also found his wedding band in the bathroom sink. Very close to the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 458 You deserved it 150

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Ethan · 13 November 2025, 22:00

The great escape

Today, I decided to start jogging again for the first time in months. I made it one block before tripping over the curb. I fell so hard, my phone flew out of my pocket and hit a parked car, setting off its alarm. I ran off when I saw house curtains all around me start to twitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 293 You deserved it 126

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Anonymous · 5 May 2024, 00:00 ·Australia

Say it, don't spray it

Today, I was giving a presentation in front of my class. Mid-speech, I felt a sudden urge to sneeze and tried to hold it in. Instead, I let out the most obnoxious, window-rattling sneeze imaginable, complete with a spray of snot, which landed on my notes. I think I traumatized my classmates for life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424 You deserved it 124

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Piitaaraq Vaisanen · 24 September 2021, 05:00

More cowbell

Today, I was editing sound on a recording of a live music show. The woman who hired me said she wanted less reverb. I told her that this is how the recording was and I can't magically remove acoustic reverb from something recorded in a church. FML

I agree, your life sucks 888 You deserved it 108

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Anonymous · 28 December 2022, 03:00 🌶️ Spicy

Poor performance

Today, I finally had sex with my husband and orgasmed. Three hours apart from each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 144 You deserved it 336

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Anonymous · 22 November 2025, 15:00

Small talk is hell

Today, I got stuck making small talk with a neighbor I barely know. In a panic, I said “Have a good night!” even though it was 10 a.m. She corrected me with, “Morning,” and my brain responded, “Happy… time?” I swear she slowly backed away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 255 You deserved it 183

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Anonymous · 27 November 2025, 15:00

Make it make sense

Today, I was told it is "fatphobic" to "assume someone's weight is related to their food choices" and that I have a "problematic relationship with food." All because I didn't want to eat a bigger slice of the cake someone brought in at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 388 You deserved it 71

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c…… · 12 October 2021, 08:00

The planets made me do it

Today, my sister wrecked my car, then blamed it on, "Mercury being in retrograde." FML

I agree, your life sucks 977 You deserved it 75

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Anonymous · 18 May 2024, 20:00 🌶️ Spicy

Soundproofing

Today, after days of hearing our new neighbour abusing his wife, my wife went round to confront him while on the phone with the police. Turns out they are just really into their BDSM and had no idea how loud they were being. They have costumes, toys and everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 566 You deserved it 203

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Jezza · 2 December 2025, 03:00

DIY

Today, I tried fixing the squeak in my bedroom door. Instead, I made it dramatically louder. That night, when I sneaked to the kitchen for a snack, the door shrieked like a horror movie prop. My family thought someone broke in. It was just me craving chips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146 You deserved it 331

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Anonymous · 20 October 2021, 14:00 ·Eau Claire, United States

Branded

Today, I was talking to a friend on the phone, asking him pick me up for a cookout while his kids were yelling in the background, asking where my friend, their dad, was going. He jokingly answered them, "To pick up my ugly friend." They quickly replied with my name, out of the dozens of friends he hangs out more with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 006 You deserved it 140

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Anonymous · 24 May 2024, 09:00 ·United Kingdom

Steve Carell from Aldi

Today, I realised that when my husband is telling our boys off, he can’t think of what to say so he just steals lines from TV shows. This afternoon he told them, “Have you lost your minds? Because I’ll help you find them!” and, “I’ll be on your tails like a hot wind!” Both phrases are from The Office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328 You deserved it 170

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Anonymous · 21 October 2021, 02:00

That autumn smell

Today, my cat vomited down my heater vent. It went very far down. I'm not even sure if I got all of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 883 You deserved it 143

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RIP · 18 January 2023, 06:00 ·United States

I'm going through a tunnel

Today, I've discovered that it's hard to convince your friend that your Internet won't stop randomly shutting off when he's trying to have a serious conversation with you. I'm actually not lying, but he thinks I'm trying to ignore him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 722 You deserved it 152

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Anonymous · 23 December 2025, 20:00

Stiff competition

Today, my husband has erectile dysfunction and is too scared to see a local doctor to get prescription helpers. He wants me to fly to another country and buy them over the counter for him instead! And I'm travelling next week. Not sure which is worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 356 You deserved it 100

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Anonymous · 21 January 2023, 16:00

'This Is Us' reboot

Today, my brother-in-law's wife sent me a text venting about her argument with our mother-in-law. She also said said some nasty things about her and I mistakenly shared this info with my “trusted” husband, who immediately told his hot-tempered-momma's girl-IDGAF attitude older sister, who now plans on beating her ass. This is bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 657 You deserved it 580

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Wow ok · 9 June 2024, 09:00 ·United States

Self report

Today, I realized that I am what the internet refers to as a "neckbeard." I really need to get my shit together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 221 You deserved it 335

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Chris · 12 June 2024, 16:00 ·United Kingdom

The betrayal of floof

Today, I tried to give my cat a bath after he got into the attic and got covered in all sorts of shit. Halfway through, he freaked out, jumped out of the tub, and ran around the house dripping wet. He then hid under my bed, and I had to practically dismantle it to get him out. Now my bedroom smells like wet fur and broken trust. FML

I agree, your life sucks 239 You deserved it 364

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Anonymous · 3 February 2023, 14:00

Growing old sucks

Today, after finally coming to terms with using insulin for my diabetes, and facing another eye surgery to correct my vision so I can do my job, I found out I have to have a melanoma removed from my foot. I'm 54. FML

I agree, your life sucks 837 You deserved it 127

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Anonymous · 17 June 2024, 00:00 ·Gilbert, United States

Quacks

Today, I went to see the doctor to find out if the injury to my foot will ever heal right, because it's swollen to the size of a bowling ball, and I was hoping to start a method of treatment to get it back to what it was like before. When I asked, the doctor said, "It might, might not." So much for that hope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422 You deserved it 90

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Yudith · 2 January 2026, 20:00

Gimme the money, lady

Today, I have to send to court for non-payment of rent the lady whose lease was apparently written by a four-year-old, or so the last judge who dismissed the last non-payment case for the same lady said. Said lady owes more than three months of rent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 148 You deserved it 299

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Anonymous · 24 June 2024, 22:00 ·Corozal, Colombia

Another fine mess

Today, I was talking with my closest coworker about her boss. She told me that she yelled at her and told her, "You capricious and silly girl, you have to be more independent and brave for this job. You are a lawyer; think about your duties." She told me this as her boss came up behind us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368 You deserved it 125

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Janessa · 28 November 2021, 14:01

Deadbeat

Today, a woman reached out to me on Twitter to ask me if my dad was OK, since she talks to him every day and they haven't talked in a few days. She also doesn't know if he's in prison or not. My father left when I was 3, and I haven't talked to him in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 276 You deserved it 104

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Anonymous · 17 January 2026, 20:00 🌶️ Spicy

Lighting in a bottle

Today, I have an amazing girlfriend. She’s smart, funny, educated, gets along with my friends and family, but she’s such a snooze in the sack, it makes me miss my psycho ex. That woman was a toxic mess of a person but she could do things that would make a porn star blush. What’s wrong with me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 129 You deserved it 401

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FML Videos · 3 October 2018, 00:30

Moving Out

Adulting is hard... Some of us need a push!

I agree, your life sucks 262 You deserved it 73

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Anonymous · 10 December 2021, 04:58

Oh, hi there!

Today, I decided to go for a swim in a river to cool off. Not having a bathing suit, I went in nude. After a refreshing swim, and coming back to shore completely naked, I was greeted by a shocked young woman walking her dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 265 You deserved it 1 440

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