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Dope

By Anonymous - 14/03/2026 03:00

Today, someone told me to be the adult in my kid's unexplained shunning of me. She’s 30. I just spent 3k on a graduation party. No thanks from her. Yes, I’m a dope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 311

You deserved it 161

Let it all out

By Anonymous - 25/03/2023 22:00 - Australia

Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and some new clients when I sensed that I was about to sneeze. I tried to hold it in, but ended up sneezing AND farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 858

You deserved it 150

Sorry about your dick, bro

By footinmouth - 14/03/2026 22:00

Today, my wife and I were with friends when she said that men who like guns all have tiny penises. "Seriously, even smaller than me!" I added, and only realized what I'd said when the laughter started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 485

Wash your veggies

By Anonymous - 12/01/2022 19:59 - Germany

Today, I was teaching a girl from the neighborhood how to cook, telling her to start by washing the veggies. She said, "Oh, because you’re vegan, right?" No dear, because they’re dirty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 150

You deserved it 189

No ragrets

By Isabel - 19/08/2024 22:00 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I showed my new tattoo to my friends. It's supposed to be a deep, philosophical quote in Latin, symbolizing strength and resilience. My friend, who happens to be fluent in Latin, started laughing hysterically. Turns out, it actually says, "You are dumb." FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 703

I hate surprises

By Anonymous - 16/03/2026 20:00

Today, my family and friends threw a surprise birthday party for me, after I'd said multiple times that I didn't want one. I turned and left and now everybody is angry at me and calling me ungrateful and spoiled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 233

Hangry

By JoanT - 20/10/2020 11:08

Today, while petting one of the goats we have, the other one was jealous so it ripped out a chunk of my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 990

You deserved it 209

Growing old is a shipwreck

By Sad Son - 23/08/2024 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I visited my Mum. She has invited me to visit her before, but kept cancelling whenever I tried to arrange an actual visit. I finally went over anyway, only to find her in a soiled nappy, room in ruins, with kidney failure-induced dementia. Sometimes they hide it well over the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 602

You deserved it 119

Charming

By Bros before hos, every time - 19/03/2026 09:00

Today, I was chilling at home when my roomie cruised in with a baddie on his arm. She turned out to be a total ho and started trying to get in my pants while he was sitting RIGHT THERE. I did everything I could to shake her off and in the end I just asked her to leave. Fuck, I feel bad for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 78

Frustrated

By Anonymous - 02/04/2023 22:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I realised it’s been too long since my partner and I have had sex. How do I know? This is the third night in a row he’s humped me in his sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 1 095

Tasty snack

By Anonymous - 07/04/2023 22:00 - Australia - Adelaide CBD

Today, I used the “Find My…” app to locate a missing AirPods. Good news: I found them. Bad news: they are inside my dog’s belly. Next stop: Emergency vet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 795

You deserved it 182

What did I do now?

By Friendless - 04/04/2026 20:00

Today, I connected two of my long time best friends. Upon chatting with each other, they discovered how toxic I was as a friend to both of them. They agreed that those traits don't exist anymore, but they are too hurt to continue their friendship with me. Fire away the YDI. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 506

Two rooms, two atmospheres

By Anonymous - 26/11/2020 16:58

Today, I tried to cook a nice meal for my sister's friends. It turned out perfect and they enjoyed it, while I was in the bathroom throwing up for two hours due to food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 816

You deserved it 155

I hate surprises

By Anonymous - 18/04/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, my husband and kids apparently forgot my birthday. I was so happy at first because I have always hated my birthday, and thought it could just be another day on the calendar. No. They planned and threw a massive surprise party for me when I got home from work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 200

You deserved it 373

Child's play

By Misbah Akhtar - 21/11/2020 13:59 - United Kingdom - Plymouth

Today, my 6 year-old brought me a card. On it was a turd belonging to my 4 year-old son. She got excited and grossed out, and threw it on the rug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 710

You deserved it 383

Caution flag

By Punishment is coming - 23/04/2026 00:00 - The Netherlands

Today, my husband and son ganged up on me in a game of Mario Kart. I threw the game down and stormed off. The last thing I saw was them high-fiving and yelling "RAGE QUIT" and laughing hysterically. They will both suffer for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 132

You deserved it 588

A group of one

By Anonymous - 08/03/2022 04:00

Today, we're starting group projects in my English class. One of my group members hasn't shown up to class all semester, and the other is an exchange student who can't speak English very well. Guess who's doing all of the work on their own… FML

I agree, your life sucks 737

You deserved it 78

Herbie Kirby

By Anonymous - 30/04/2023 12:00

Today, I was literally taking care of my coworker's garbage. Piss was dumped on me as I lifted the Herbie Kirby to the larger dumpster. What the fuck, people? Don’t literally leave your waste for others to take care of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 621

You deserved it 133

"Do you play any instrument?"

By Lewis - 22/12/2018 19:00

Watch me!

I agree, your life sucks 267

You deserved it 75

Thanks!

By Yuri - 29/09/2024 09:00 - United States - Gloucester

Today, I opened the door to a pizza delivery guy. I hadn't order any, but I thought maybe my roommate had. As he handed me the box, I said, "Thanks, you too" when he told me to enjoy my meal. He stopped, looked confused, and said, "Wait, what?" before leaving. I then realized my roommate was out of town and I’d just taken someone else’s pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 401

"Who wants a dessert?"

By Lewis - 27/12/2018 00:30 - France - Paris

I made a huge mistake...

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 89

Good fences make good neighbors?

By Anonymous - 17/05/2026 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my neighbour replaced his chain link fence with a nice wood fence. It’s exactly on the property line and it's his fence, not mine, but the property line is only two feet away from my kitchen window, which is now in complete darkness, no light at all, so I need lights on even during the day FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 108

Multitasking

By Anonymous - 18/02/2022 14:00

Today, I fucked up my schedule on my final semester so bad I need to take a course from a community college at the same time I'm doing a full-time schedule at my university. This doesn't sound bad, but then the only course I could get into is at the same time as one of my university courses. I can't graduate otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 702

You deserved it 398

Flying Karens

By Anonymous - 14/05/2023 18:00

Today, I had to deal with a grown-ass woman having a tantrum at me because the plane, which she was over an hour late for, dared to set off without her. Yes, DARED TO, as though she thought she was so special that it was reasonable for a plane with hundreds of passengers to wait just for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 988

You deserved it 99

Cravings

By Anonymous - 01/03/2022 16:00 - United States

Today, I went in to get a sub sandwich. I asked the guy behind the counter if he could please put extra pickles on it. He looked at my stomach, and then put a huge handful of them on. I'm not pregnant, just fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 270

Fitness time

By Anonymous - 18/10/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, after finally getting over my ex, it felt like it was time to climb back into the dreaded dating pool. I also recognized that I need to get in shape to maximize my chances, so I went running. Half a mile in, I tripped over my own feet, landed face-first in a bush, and had to walk home covered in leaves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 129

Thanks, I hate it!

By Anonymous - 25/05/2026 12:00 - United States - Center Line

Today, I got my mom (who is a diabetic) a set of sugar-free chocolates for Mother's Day. Everything was fine on that day, and my mom decided to share them since I bought a good sized box. I was perfectly fine, but my mom had explosive diarrhea for the rest of the day. I'll never buy THOSE again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 105

Disproportionate responses are the new black

By Anonymous - 25/10/2024 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my son nearly burned the house down with a lighter and an aerosol. His excuse? He was killing a massive spider carrying an egg sack. My wife hates spiders so she refuses to punish him and gave him £20. But sure, dear old Dad will spend money replacing the wallpaper and curtains, no problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 456

You deserved it 97

Busted

By Anonymous - 01/06/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend text me and told me to do something sexy because she was going to FaceTime me. I eagerly dropped my pants and started stroking it to get ready for her. As soon as I opened her call, she was standing with my wife. I literally got caught with my dick in my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 964

Lonely but tidy

By anon - 30/10/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I spent an hour cleaning my apartment because I thought I had a date coming over. Right as they were supposed to arrive, they canceled because they “got too tired.” Now it’s just me, alone in a spotless apartment, watching a terrible documentary on Netflix. FML

I agree, your life sucks 487

You deserved it 106

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The Top

Today, I met my ex's new boyfriend. I was at work, cashiering at the movie theater that they were apparently having their first date at. We broke up less than 24 hours ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 855

You deserved it 2 638

Today, I was taking a crap in a public stall when three kids broke down the door and pelted me with eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 175

You deserved it 6 186

Today, I went for a hike with the local search and rescue volunteer group that I recently joined. I got lost and spent 5 hours wandering aimlessly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 866

You deserved it 15 073

Today, I was giving a lecture to my class I heard a phone go off. Aggravated and exhausted, I asked everyone to turn their phones off. Then the phone rang again. I lost my shit and spent the next half hour calling my students a bunch of "technology whores". Then I realized the phone was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 213

You deserved it 200 138

Today, a patient at the hospital where I work asked me if he and his son could light up a joint. He was on oxygen, and serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 879

You deserved it 506

Today, I had a nightmare in which I murdered a store employee because the store wasn’t selling the item I wanted. I would never do that in real life, and now I feel extremely guilty for how I acted in my dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 786

You deserved it 200