Today, after months of living with my roommate's horrific snoring, I looked over to see her sleeping quietly. Elated that I might actually get a full night of rest for once, I went to bed. Just as my eyelids began to droop, she started making vile hissing sounds. Yes, hissing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after struggling for hours to fall asleep with my husband's rather rattling snoring, I finally managed to drop off… only to be rudely awakened an hour later by my husband elbowing me in the face in his sleep. FML
Today, my roommate's extremely loud and obnoxious alarm went off six times, waking me up each time, before she finally gave up on hitting the snooze button and went back to sleep for good. FML
Today, it's 2am. I've been trying to get to sleep for the past two hours next to my snoring boyfriend. Every time I nudge him to shut him up, his body tenses, he farts, then goes straight back to snoring. FML
Today, my step mom and her kids moved in. This is my first night sharing a room with her daughter. She snores, sleep talks, and sleep scratches the side of the bed creating a sound like nails on a chalkboard. FML
Today, I'm stuck with sleeping in the same room as my mother. The problem? Her snores are extremely loud and a full minute long. I'm not kidding, I timed it. FML
Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML
Today, I was on a long-haul flight, desperately trying to sleep. My husband next to me started snoring so loudly, I swear he was vibrating the seat. In a dazed, half-asleep state, I leaned over and hissed, “Shut up!” It wasn’t him. It was the guy next to him. He woke up and looked at me like I was the problem. FML
Today, I was awoken by my wife, once again. It seems that whenever I stop snoring, she thinks I died so she has to wake me to make sure I'm still living. She does this almost every night, every hour. FML
Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML
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Top comments
LightningLadyy 0
Duuude, that's just not right...
rattusrattus 19
Ah, your roomate is a parselmouth. Keep a close eye on them.
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Comments (64)
xxmollyxx 25
This American room mate system sucks. I feel for you, having to share a room with a stranger. They might be great, sure. And they might snore.
mintcar 10
Y'know, it's not always like that.
najraa 19
I agree. I wouldn't sleep comfortably for the first few weeks, that's for sure. And you would have absolutely no privacy..
saleha97 4
haha, i talk at sleep.. beat that :)
UpsidedownKayak 9
You talk at it? What do you say at it? Does it ever answer you back?
OhShuttup 0
F.O.B
greenlantern27 6
I say get a new roommate.
lovin_my_marine 4
Freaky. Sounds like something someone would do if they were possessed!
NateFate 0
that is freaking funny lmfao
BradenLock 4
until the start of line 5 I thought she'd died :/
Proud_vegetarian 0
me too!!!!
motero 0
maybe she was dreaming she was fighting a snake?
Wheredidgrungego 12
Kill her. The ability to speak parsletounge is usually the sign of a dark witch or wizard.
xXStopThisSongXx 0
WIN!!!
talktomandybaby 8
creeper roomate?(:
sallen0046 4
Why are you living with someone that you can't get any sleep with? Earplugs aren't expensive...why don't you invest? Or perhaps listen to music via headphones that will shut off after a couple of hours if you're worried about missing an alarm. Instead of complaining about the situation, look for ways to make her snoring more bearable.