Today, after months of living with my roommate's horrific snoring, I looked over to see her sleeping quietly. Elated that I might actually get a full night of rest for once, I went to bed. Just as my eyelids began to droop, she started making vile hissing sounds. Yes, hissing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after struggling for hours to fall asleep with my husband's rather rattling snoring, I finally managed to drop off… only to be rudely awakened an hour later by my husband elbowing me in the face in his sleep. FML
Today, my roommate's extremely loud and obnoxious alarm went off six times, waking me up each time, before she finally gave up on hitting the snooze button and went back to sleep for good. FML
Today, it's 2am. I've been trying to get to sleep for the past two hours next to my snoring boyfriend. Every time I nudge him to shut him up, his body tenses, he farts, then goes straight back to snoring. FML
Today, my step mom and her kids moved in. This is my first night sharing a room with her daughter. She snores, sleep talks, and sleep scratches the side of the bed creating a sound like nails on a chalkboard. FML
Today, I'm stuck with sleeping in the same room as my mother. The problem? Her snores are extremely loud and a full minute long. I'm not kidding, I timed it. FML
Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML
Today, I was on a long-haul flight, desperately trying to sleep. My husband next to me started snoring so loudly, I swear he was vibrating the seat. In a dazed, half-asleep state, I leaned over and hissed, “Shut up!” It wasn’t him. It was the guy next to him. He woke up and looked at me like I was the problem. FML
Today, I was awoken by my wife, once again. It seems that whenever I stop snoring, she thinks I died so she has to wake me to make sure I'm still living. She does this almost every night, every hour. FML
Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML
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Top comments
LightningLadyy 0
Duuude, that's just not right...
rattusrattus 19
Ah, your roomate is a parselmouth. Keep a close eye on them.
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Comments (64)
dansco 25
Ever thought of grabbing a pillow? To really get some sleep lol
Shadow_Phantom 26
Call a priest...
Seastone 9
I have no idea why or how, but my roommate made a sound I can only compare to a tea kettle last semester. I can't sleep with earplugs in. I feel your pain, OP. I am so glad I moved out of there.
sylphy 0
ugh both of my parents snore, my dad snores obnoxiously loud and then will "complain" in his sleep, their room is right next to mine and sometimes it gets so bad I actually have to wake them up so I can go to sleep.
kayvan 8
They probably have sleep apnea. F their life.
xStarKillerx 4
Perhaps she was dreaming that she was catwoman.
katie72 6
Star killer, you funny.
katie72 6
gadgetfmllover 0
Thats so funny :D
citybiotch 0
A simple and inexpensive solution... EAR PLUGS... they take a bit of getting used to and you may need to try several different shapes but they work wonders once you find the right ones!!! just a quick ? do u sleep in the same room with your room mate? hmmm
ChibiChibi_fml 28
Perhaps if they were wearing earplugs they wouldn't be able to hear their own alarms well enough to be woken up.
mr_miyagi 0
chill out just buy some earplugs
evikeysn 1
Well, I have the same problem with my roomate (you should hear the disgusting noises she make) and I've been sleeping with earplugs for over two years now, just because of that. So as the people suggested, buy earplugs. And eat something stinky and fart the whole night, hehhehhe :D