Today, I was late for work. Trying to cut a few seconds off the clock, I tried to open my breakfast candy bar while taking a piss. I ended up pissing all over myself and dropping the bar in the toilet. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was running late for work and skipped breakfast. At a red light, I noticed a granola bar in my bag and so I took a bite, only to realize it was actually a dog treat I'd stuffed in there days ago. FML
Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML
Today, I went to get blood and urine tests done before work. As I was attempting to aim into the cup, I lost balance and slipped. I ended up peeing on my sleeves and my pants. I was late for work and I smelled like pee. FML
Today, I was pissing in a bathroom and I tossed my empty energy drink can into the toilet for laughs. The unnecessarily powerful flush sucked it up where it got stuck and caused me to get sprayed with toilet water while I frantically tried to open the stall. FML
Today, I wasn't feeling well at work. While I was in the bathroom losing my lunch, a very large piece of food came up. The resulting splash of toilet water went straight up into my mouth. FML
Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, I was using the restroom at work when my glasses slipped off my face and landed right in the toilet. FML
Today, at work, I used my foot to flush the toilet, lost my balance, and ended up catching myself with my foot in the toilet. FML
Today, I went to take a dump at work, but the last person in the stall didn't flush. As I flushed for him, the shitty water splashed on my face. Some went in my mouth. FML
Today, during a very stressful and busy day at work, I took a bathroom break. Unfortunately, of all the things on my mind, taking down my pants before emptying my bladder wasn't one of them. FML
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Top comments
HuntrTrakr 4
I'd be pissed!
harrywestt 0
Ok first of why the hell would u even want to eat while taking a leak? Just saying kinda stupid.
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Comments (191)
lilemmy55 10
Epic fail!
Mooish 18
Agreed.
JohannMedina 0
Lol Fail.
AnonymousTroll 2
Need a moment? Chew it over with twix, not a breakfast bar!
DrDilllonReese 12
Had this been me, I would've performed flawlessly. My aim while urinating rivals that of a Navy SEAL marksman.
Damn_Hippster 11
Butterfingers, or in this case, pissfingers.
Choose_Wisely 5
girls can even put clothes on while peeing :)
rallets 23
looks like urine trouble
fabian21 0
Was the candy bar good?
SCREAM4meeee 0
WTF is a breakfast candy bar??
SCREAM4meeee 0
Only in America I guess.
That0therguy 4
It's not epic. Why? Why would dropping your candy bar in the toilet with piss be epic? Besides, "Epic Fail" is so old.
nublets 12
Well he sure dropped the 'bar' on that one
NavySEAL13 0
24- I bet you it doesn't
buiscit 0
A breakfast bar is still a breakfast bar you should have just ate it anyway
ohxdamnxkay02 12
i would have been pissed if that happened to me.(;
teddirae 9
You eat candy bars for breakfast?
SneakyMuffin 0
Nice comment, but isn't it "lowered the bar?"
Jimster1712 0
Thats why i sit and pee... What? Noone else does that??
hinchkongfang 0
Who the hell eats candy bars for breakfast?? Now skittles.....
HuntrTrakr 4
I'd be pissed!
Amrel 10
Looks like his candy bar... Got pissed!
Notimetobleed 14
Looks like the candy bar would rather be pissed on than pissed off
spearodude 0
so did you eat it?
EvilPotato 15
1 as flockz picture says 'I SEE WHAT YOU ******* DID THERE'.
ShyAnn29 15
67. Hmm, would the 5 second rule be used here..?
EvilPotato 15
*Ahem.* *cough* I mean 2 *cough*.
EvilPotato 15
77 I think it's the 0.1 second rule, if it went in the toilet with piss.
That0therguy 4
57, Men in Tights.
happy_dino 6
2- *No pun intended.*
GrammaticalNazi 2
115 - I'm pretty sure it was intended...
vitality555 0
He is pissed already
Ricky23J 0
I see what you did there
StopDropNRoll 11
Idk if anyone noticed. But he missed the toilet while pissing and only got the candy bar in there. So the candy bar wasn't pissed just him.
dabears1011234 27
No just no
bearcub89 0
First!!! Bitchez!!!
harrywestt 0
Ok first of why the hell would u even want to eat while taking a leak? Just saying kinda stupid.
Reign_fml 3
Why not? You know the saying, it's like killing 2 birds with 1 stone
MrSassypants 34
I thought it was murdering two stones with a bird. No wonder people have been calling me stupid.
FYLDeep 26
I'd call you stupid just for misusing the word murder, which is defined as taking place between humans. Humans can't murder animals, and animals can't murder humans. Which is why that saying "Fur is murder" is so ridiculous.
rattusrattus 19
Maybe he wanted to give the bar a sneak peek at its imminent future?
ShyAnn29 15
51. Yeah, it'll end up in the toilet eventually, if he ate it
kleider1 9
U said first but I see no second point in your comment
urmomsupstrs 1
I knew a guy that would have a full meal while taking a shit on the thrown. Ha, classic!
Bullpine 11
46- Dude, who cares?
MrSassypants 34
46 people call me stupid for a lot of things. I embrace my stupidity. :D
FYLDeep 26
#96 Well, murder is a crime. Dumb people use the word way too much to describe killings of various sorts that are no way illegal. It certainly implies that they did something wrong.
yourkindacool18 5
i take it OP is a man.
jkrist 7
Should've sat down
ReynshineCutting 10
109- So sadistically killing an animal isn't wrong?
FYLDeep 26
#136 That falls under laws of animal cruelty, nothing to do with murder. Besides if you wanted to make a point about various things people do that are wrong, there's plenty of other things you could mention that are in fact perfectly legal.
FYLDeep 26
BTW, I was not trying to make a point about MrSassypants in particular. I was making a point about the misuse of words. Far too often people misuse that one and I personally really can't take their argument seriously when they do that.
j_cat187 20
Who doesn't eat while taking a shit. It comes naturally.
SneakyMuffin 0
HA!!! I caught one!!! It's THRONE!!! Grammar police, to the rescue!!!
Daralea 21
:S eating while using the toilet? But....urine and fecal splatter! (if flushing or peeing while standing that is)
rocker_chick105 31
Piss and miss!
imaberry95 0
WINNING
XxREXxX 0
C'mon man.....
GraceKathryn97 0
Haha epic failure!
Decapitation 3
Adding "Haha" and extending the word fail doesn't make your comment original.
michael509 1
Naming your self decapitation doesn't make you original.. Stop trolling on stupid shit man
Decapitation 3
Um... Actually it does. If my name was decapitation135 then it would be unoriginal.
michael509 1
Not the point man it's don't be a prick about stupid stuff.
CryMoreFMLs 15
169 - You seem to be the prick here.
Glitterhinoceros 14
Smooth
baconstrips 12
I would give up bacon for you.
azurewave 6
Screw bacon, I wouldn't make her be in the kitchen. Btw skrillex is amazing!
SoSickWithIt 14
So you both creeped on this girl, then decided your self esteem was low enough to go for it. And the best lines you think of to throw are ones of food and the making of the foods... Except the first guy did seem very into bacon and I think he'd cheat on you.. with the bacon. Can I say cool story bro's?..... :D
azurewave 6
I don't care if somebody on the Internet thinks I'm a creep. :D I just have to know I'm not a creep especially in real life.
baconstrips 12
:O I would never cheat on a girl. And I certainly wouldn't cheat on her with a piece of bacon that would ruin it! I just omnomnom on bacon, not have sex with it.
paintingxflowers 8
I bet you got a couple of snickers.
coltsrock37 15
I see what you did there.
DeathBunny218 37
surely you could do that as you're walking to you car, or leaving the bathroom even
pinkzilla0 8
People like you piss me off.
obamathellama 0
People like YOU piss everyone else off!